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View Full Version : University, Girl not wanting a relationship but hates seeing me with other girls?



metalmonkey
10-24-2008, 08:59 PM
Hi guys, i'm in a bit of a situation here and would appreciate some advice

Basically i've just started university and i've been seeing a girl upstairs in my flat.
For the first three weeks we saw each other every day and used to spend hours together lying on her bed talkin, watching tv, making out and all that.

However, she says she doesn't want a relationship right now because its the start of university and doesn't want to be tied down.

The thing is we're extremely close (closer than i've ever been to a girl before) and she says that whenever i'm with other girls she hates it and feels really awful. I feel exactly the same about seeing her with other guys. She also agrees with everything i say about how she loved spending time laid on her bed as a couple and how she's bored out her mind when i'm not there.

We have slept together several times by the way.
Its a difficult situation because i know she feels exactly the same except shes kind of a free spirit at the moment whereas i'm not to fussed to go around seeing other people. She's also just got out of seeing another guy about a month ago which may have something to do with it.


My main question is what is the best way to deal with this? Give up completely even though this is so special? Wait till she's ready?
If I am waiting till she's ready, how do we deal with the jelousy situation?
Do i need to give her time and space? and if so how would it work in this situation when we enjoy each others company so much and we live together?
sorry if this sound slightly one-itisy but i could do with some advice

Thanks

TrueStory
10-24-2008, 10:58 PM
Dude, two words:

"Yeah College!"


Don't get tied up in relationship your freshman year. When you two breakup (or cheat on each other) two months from now, you are goign to be that guy without social life that will drop out of college because some fraternity dudes ran a train on his girlfriend at a party.

Go fuck some girls, enjoy your college days; you'll get plenty of time to date and 'settle' down.

TrueStory has spoken. :)

sdnightfly
10-25-2008, 12:50 AM
She wants to have control over the situation. The "free spirit" thing is just her preventing herself from her heart being broken again. She might also be jealous that you have options.

Don't bother waiting, do your thing, if she comes around and is open to having a relationship later, then look into it then. If she just broke up with the guy, you're just going to be a rebound until someone else comes along.

I wouldn't say to cut off from her entirely, but you've grown close in a short period of time, and without coming across like you're ignoring her, cut back on the amount of time you're spending with her. It doesn't mean stop hanging out or stop having sex, but just cut down on it a bit, and when you're together make it an amazing time, and downplay the girls you're spending time with, that it's nothing serious and you're just hanging out with them for now.

Don't wait for her. She should be waiting for you, convincing you that she's got something special to offer you. Not the other way around.


Hi guys, i'm in a bit of a situation here and would appreciate some advice

Basically i've just started university and i've been seeing a girl upstairs in my flat.
For the first three weeks we saw each other every day and used to spend hours together lying on her bed talkin, watching tv, making out and all that.

However, she says she doesn't want a relationship right now because its the start of university and doesn't want to be tied down.

The thing is we're extremely close (closer than i've ever been to a girl before) and she says that whenever i'm with other girls she hates it and feels really awful. I feel exactly the same about seeing her with other guys. She also agrees with everything i say about how she loved spending time laid on her bed as a couple and how she's bored out her mind when i'm not there.

We have slept together several times by the way.
Its a difficult situation because i know she feels exactly the same except shes kind of a free spirit at the moment whereas i'm not to fussed to go around seeing other people. She's also just got out of seeing another guy about a month ago which may have something to do with it.


My main question is what is the best way to deal with this? Give up completely even though this is so special? Wait till she's ready?
If I am waiting till she's ready, how do we deal with the jelousy situation?
Do i need to give her time and space? and if so how would it work in this situation when we enjoy each others company so much and we live together?
sorry if this sound slightly one-itisy but i could do with some advice

Thanks

nereis
10-25-2008, 08:00 AM
She secretly loves it. Go on with life, this is a shit test.

R V C A
10-25-2008, 09:24 AM
what are you talking about living with her for? weird

go date other girls. dont even try to keep it a secret. look if yall are so great for each other then you will keep in touch probably keep sleeping together. and later on down the road you will get get together again. dont focus on just her now.

metalmonkey
10-25-2008, 02:15 PM
what are you talking about living with her for? weird

go date other girls. dont even try to keep it a secret. look if yall are so great for each other then you will keep in touch probably keep sleeping together. and later on down the road you will get get together again. dont focus on just her now.

We live together in halls :rolleyes:
she's a couple of floors above me, which makes it uite hard not to spend time with her, especially as my best friend at university lives in her flat