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porteo
08-21-2006, 10:45 AM
(taken from the Wedding Crashers) and adapted (some rules were taken out)
1. Never leave a fellow wing behind. Wings take care of their own.
2. Never use your real name.
3. Never confess.
4. No one goes home alone.
5. Never let a girl get between you and a fellow wing.
6. Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention in a negative way. Draw attention to yourself, but on your own terms.
7. Blend in by standing out.
8. Be the life of the party.
9. Whatever it takes to get in, get in.
13. HB are desperate - console them.
15. Fight the urge to tell the truth. Tell it in a funny way.
17. Every female HB deserves a wedding night.
20. The older the better, the younger the better. (See Rule Below)
21. Definitely make sure she’s 18.
22. You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. No overtime.
23. There’s nothing wrong with having seconds. Provided there is enough women to go around.
24. If you get outted, leave calmly. Do not run.
25. You understand she heard that but that’s not what you meant.
27. Don’t over drink. The machinery must work in order to close.
28. Make sure there’s an open bar.
29. Always be a team player. Everyone needs a little help now and again.
30. Know the playbook so you can call an audible.
31. If you call an audible, always make sure your fellow wing knows.
33. Never go back to your place (if u live in your parents..).
34. Be gone by sunrise.
35. Breakfast is for closers.
36. Your favorite movie is “Attraction isn't a choice?, by DD.
37. At the reception, one hard drink or two beers max. A drunk wing is a sloppy wing.
39. The way to a woman’s bed is through negs.
40. Dance with other women. The girls will think you’re “hard to get.?
41. Try not to break anything, unless you’re not having fun.
43. Create an air of mystery that involves some DHV experience when interacting with the girl you’re after. But don’t talk about it. Allude to it. Then walk away. She’ll follow.
44. Always remember your fake name!
45. The Rules of Winging are sacred. Don’t sully them by “improvising.?
48. Always work the following into a conversation: “Yeah, I have tons of money. But you are the one buying me drinks".
49. Be pensive! It draws out the “healer? in women.
50. Always pull out in time.
51. Tell any woman you’re interested in that you’d love to stay but you promised to help a friend organize a super party.
53. Avoid virgins. They’re too clingy.
55. Don’t fixate on one woman. ALWAYS have a back-up. Avoid One-itis.
56. When seeing an AMOG, do not interact-merely acknowledge each other with a tug on the earlobe and gracefully move on.
57. The Ferrari’s in the shop.
58. If two wings pick the same girl, the sarger that approached her last will respectfully yield.
59. No “chicken dancing? - no exceptions.
60. When Sarging out of state, look for wings that know the techniques
64. When your wings fails, you fail. No man is an island.
65. Smile! You’re having the time of your life.
66. Mix it up a little-you can’t always be the man with the haunted past.
68. Two shut-outs in a row? It’s time to take a week off. Ask yourself: what is getting in the way of my game?
70. Studies show women have a more developed sense of smell. Breath mints-small cost, big yield.
71. The unmarried female rabbi-is she fair game? Of course she is.
72. In case of emergency, refer to the playbook.
73. Girls in hats tend to be proper and rarely give it up.
74. Keep interactions with the friends of the sarged girl to a max of fun.
75. Carry extra protection.
76. No Excuses. Play like a champion!
78. Stop, look, listen. At weddings. In life.
80. Always think ahead but always stay in the moment. Reconcile this paradox and you’ll not only get the girl, you might also get peace of mind.
83. Don’t use the “I have two months to live? bit-not cool, not effective.
84. Shoes say a lot about a man.
85. Always choose large bars. More choice. Easier to blend.
88. Of course you dream of one day having a three-some.
89. Don’t dance with her. No matter how hot she is. Dance floor is counter-productive unless you are a dancing artist.
91. Only take one car. You never know when you’ll need to make a fast escape.
92. Deep down, most people hate themselves. This knowledge is the key to most bedroom doors.
94. Etiquette isn’t old fashioned, it’s sexy.
97. Be judicious with cologne. Citrus tones are best.
99. Avoid women who were psychology majors in college unless you are a pua.
100. No periwinkle ties, please.
101. Always have an early “appointment? the next morning.
102. Be well-groomed and well-mannered.
103. Never cockblock a fellow wing.
105. Know when to abandon ship if it ain’t floating.
106. Know your swing and salsa dancing. Girls love to get twisted around.
108. Make sure your magic trick and balloonanimal skills are not rusty. If her friends love it, she will too.
109. Never, ever reveal your true identity.

Libertine101
08-21-2006, 04:08 PM
that was such an awesome movie.
equally awesome post.
can i hear someone say best of......

porteo
08-22-2006, 07:36 AM
glad u like it. :) :D
I hope others too.
Matthius

excess_
08-22-2006, 07:48 AM
wedding crashers is a sick film. good post and adaptions