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Zao
08-04-2006, 12:50 PM
Hey fella’s
So after observing a lot of the posts on here I have come to realize some thing. You guys are making this whole “meeting women” thing a massive chore. I mean I read countless posts on “I NEED MATERIAL” or “I NEED AN OPENER” and frankly guys it is a little bit demoralizing. Now I’m not saying by any means that openers and routines don’t work because I know from experience they do, but the reason they may not be working for you is because your mind set is off.
Look at it this way. You and your wing set up a time and place to meet. You guys go out thinking “ok were going to get this amount of approaches in and were going to say this that and the other at which point you will enter… Ect.” You get to the field. But when it comes down to it you start to get nervous… you start to get that feeling in the bottom of your stomach. Thoughts start to go through your head “what if I don’t pick her up?” “What if she doesn’t go along with the material?” You plain and simple freak out… Sound familiar? Now, you still go out and open some sets and maybe even get a few numbers. You act and talk and try to convey to the pretty girl you demonstrate higher value and she might buy into it, then again she may not… See you may get some numbers but ask yourself “Am I at my potential” and “Am I really a person of higher value?” If your answer to these is no then how can you really be a pick up artist you’re really just a glorified AFC who gets lucky if a girl happens to fall victim to your act of memorized lines and mask of confidence. In this sense you are still just getting lucky and not showing any skill except the fact that you can memorize a few good verses. (Kids in Sunday school used to memorize verses) So here are some things that I have examined in myself and others that people who truly have higher values do.
What to do to become a person of True Higher Value
Know the better parts about yourself.
Ok if you haven’t guessed it by now then I don’t know how to help you. How can any body else be comfortable with you if you are not comfortable with yourself? I mean think about it. If you can’t look at your self in the mirror and say “I love you” to yourself then you will never be able to attain full confidence. You have to come to terms with who you are to be a person of higher value. Now ways of doing this.
Exercise 1-Get a piece of paper and pen. Now write down things that you like about you. This can be from the way you look to mannerisms you have to some thing you are good at. Now number them. If you don’t have at LEAST 60 things listed you need to search deeper in your self and find them because if you can’ find good things about you how is a complete stranger going to?
STEP 2- Now on a different piece of paper write down all the things that you don’t like about your self. Such as personality traits to the way you do some thing incorrectly to your hand writing being sloppy. Now number them.
Step 3- Compare your good traits to your bad ones. There should be at least 4 good traits for every bad trait. If not you need to re-evaluate yourself.
Step 4- Look back at your list of bad traits. Now highlight the ones that can be fixed. Such as fear of heights or shyness or my lisp or whatever. Now go out and change them. Work on them become better for yourself. Let’s say you have a little extra baggage on you. Ok get to a gym. I’m not a very good public speaker. Ok sign up for some speech and singing classes. By improving on these things you will boost your values. You will be able to accept your self and love your self.
Don’t worry about what other people think
Ok first off. Don’t take this one too far. I mean there are limits. When I say this I don’t mean go out and be an ass because that’s how people will view you as and label you as ( I’ll get to labeling next) When I say don’t worry about what people think I mean like. Don’t worry about it if some one doesn’t like your hair cut. Don’t worry about if people think that you are wrong. I mean if you have an opinion or idea don’t worry about it if some one else doesn’t view it as necessarily correct because people of true higher value know what they think and are not going to change unless they are given legitimate reason too.
Exercise 2- have an argument with some one not a fight but a debate with a half way intelligent person. Give your views and reasons why you feel that way. Then listen to what the other person has to say. Actually LISTEN to there reasons on why they feel that certain way about that certain subject. Now if you still disagree with them on it try to persuade the person to your side. Don’t get into a fight on why you are right or why they are wrong because that will get you no where, also don’t force them onto your side respect there opinions and you will find others respecting yours. (Also this will help you with your speech and conversation skills as well as persuasive techniques)
Don’t get labeled
Don’t confine yourself to being in a certain group or clique. Have a broad social circle. Don’t hang out just with just one certain group of people. Have at least 3 groups of friends that you can hang out with. If you don’t have that many friends then go make some more, have variety in your friends, different personality’s religions, races, all make for a better time, more to talk about and a better social proof. Just be the guy that knows every one and more importantly everybody knows of.
Be adaptable
Be like water. Have an open mind. Respect others views. Be willing to change not because others are doing it but because you want to and you believe in it. I mean how boring is it to talk to some one who has one view on things. That is them and they aren’t changing. People with closed minds are often ignorant and insecure demonstrating lower values. Also try to avoid these people they will bring you down.
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Creating the right mindset
Now that you are a person of higher values its time to get into the correct mind set, an open mind that is not confined to just picking up girls. A mind set that isn't based on rejection or acceptance but on always succeeding.
THE MINDSET- If I go and approach this set I have already succeeded. If I get the opportunity to get to know the people in the set that is just an extra plus. If I do some routines on them and reach a hook point extra plus. View every time you go out as an opportunity not a mission. “I view every time I go out as an opportunity. I go and say to my self “ok today/tonight I have the opportunity to meet new people, get to know them and just have a good time and make some new friends." That’s how I view it... I don’t look at it as some glorified thing like "oh my God what if they don't accept me" because u know what if they don’t... the truth is.... its not that big of a fucking deal.” (Apart of my e-mail to silverfish)
The Opportunity is Yours
Ok so no matter how much you read you will never get good. Just go out there and try some stuff. Yeah you may not reach the hook point every time but its not that big of a deal. You will be learning. You will be improving yourself. Trust me. You will learn more in 5 hours of approaching and talking to new random people then you will learn from reading 3 years worth of books. So get out there. And good luck.
-Zao

Gameguy236
08-04-2006, 11:43 PM
damnn... good post.. thats all i gotta.. say.. goood post !!! :cool:

Time
08-05-2006, 05:00 AM
Great post man.
inner-game is just what i have problems with :cool:

Zao
08-05-2006, 11:14 PM
Thanks. i appreciate the comments. i hope this helps you guys

antman
08-06-2006, 06:14 AM
good post, sorry i thought i already replied to it! lol. Props though it seems your moving along good.
The only thing i might change is this
"If I get the opportunity to get to know the people in the set that is just an extra plus."
My mindset is if the people in the set get to know me its a plus for them, not the other way around, I AM THE PRIZE.
This is my mindset and it works for me, use what works for you though.
good thread
pc

Koers
08-13-2006, 09:40 AM
Good post!
Don’t get labeled
most people have only one group (including me)
In your post, it looks like it's very easy too meet more groups, but it isn't so easy because your group isolate you from other people. (if you know what i mean.)
Any suggestions how to meet other people??

Alpha Electro
08-13-2006, 01:35 PM
Thanks mate for your great insight.
The part of your post that got me thinking was the "Be adaptable" part - it made me think about my current friends and ones who are close-minded and bring me down all the time. I now have some 'cleanup'.

Zao
08-14-2006, 01:23 PM
Good post!
Don’t get labeled
most people have only one group (including me)
In your post, it looks like it's very easy too meet more groups, but it isn't so easy because your group isolate you from other people. (if you know what i mean.)
Any suggestions how to meet other people??
yes. i do know what u mean by getting isoltated and for that reason it can be hard to meet new people.
This is what i do....
I get involved in things that i think are cool that my "group" wouldn't think are cool. like... im friends with alot of popular people at my school. but to make my social circle even bigger...i got involved with ASB ( associated Student Body ) that way i would have a title for myself *freshman class president* but also i met new people in ASB who i probly wouldn't ussualy meet.
soo thats one example of how to meet new people.
GETTING INVOLVED IN THINGS THAT YOU THINK ARE COOL THAT YOUROTHER FRIENDS ARN'T INTERESTED IN...
-Zao

excess_
08-15-2006, 07:59 AM
deep post dude, really enjoyed it.
will try for myself

chizel
08-15-2006, 09:15 AM
very deep and meaningful post, thought people aren't adaptant to change as easy as 1..2..3 they can no-doubt improve them selves with what you've written

Libertine101
08-15-2006, 02:29 PM
awesome, awesome, awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
next time i go to anahiem, i'll give you a pm.

Terrance
08-21-2006, 01:10 PM
Good post!
Don’t get labeled
most people have only one group (including me)
In your post, it looks like it's very easy too meet more groups, but it isn't so easy because your group isolate you from other people. (if you know what i mean.)
Any suggestions how to meet other people??
Join a club, a sport, etc. Or just meet new people through your friends. Let them invite you to join their group for once and see how it work. Or get connections with people from an other group at birthdayparties, normal parties, work, whatever! :)