View Full Version : When Attraction Flatlines

Takashi Miike
11-21-2011, 01:25 AM
I met her at a dress-up party. It was about 2 weeks before Halloween weekend and all of the mayhem to ensue. Halloween was to be my big sarging weekend. But I met Ai.

She was waiting in line with her friends for the bathroom. She was the only one of the 3 not wearing a costume. I talked to her friends first.

“What are you supposed to be?”

One was a Harry Potter-looking thing, and the other was a witch. The first one wasn’t really Harry Potter, but I just went along with the interaction anyway, jokingly, as if she were Harry Potter.

Then I turned my attention to Ai.

“What are you supposed to be?”

“I don’t have a costume.”

I pulled back to her friends.

“I think she’s a pickpocket. Oh! And it makes sense too because pickpockets look like regular people. Wait, do I still have my wallet? Holy God, my wallet’s gone. Was that you?”

This negging got her to kino me. She got close and wrapped her arms around my neck.

After the bathroom break I saw her again towards the exit and got her e-mail. I told her that I wanted to see her again.

“Really?! That would make me so happy!” she said.

It was on, as they say.

After the party I sent her a message saying I hope she got home safely (I use this as a standard e-mail for when it looks like it’s on, e-mailing the same night and asking if they got home safely).

The next day I e-mailed again and asked what she was really dressing up as for Halloween. She said she didn’t know, so I immediately pounced on that.

“Next weekend, let’s go costume shopping. I know a great place!”

I didn’t really know a great place, but I had the internet, and information like this could be found out. She said she would go, but she had plans at 6. So I said let’s meet for lunch at noon and then go Halloween shopping, and I would make sure she was where she needed to be by 6.

Mystery says that it takes 4-10 hours before a girl will sleep with you. I figured if she and I hung out from noon till 6, that would be 6 hours out of the way before the big one.

Saturday came, and we had lunch at an Italian restaurant in Harajuku. It was very easy to talk to her. Actually, I should really say that I’M easy to talk to. Really, I’m awesome at dates. I just don’t know what goes wrong sometimes...

It had been raining that day, and by the time we got out of the restaurant the weather had cleared. In the beginning I told her we’d have lunch and then go Halloween shopping, but “Hey, it stopped raining. Let’s go for a walk in Yoyogi Park.”

Tons of kino in Yoyogi Park. We held hands and linked arms the entire time. We were walking along an isolated road, and I even stepped out in front of her to “protect her” from oncoming cars. I thought this would seal the deal for sure. I was not only awesome, and we not only felt comfortable together, but I was also the protector! Somewhere in this adventure she called me romantic.

After the park, I decided to randomly stop off at a coffee shop. She offered to buy my coffee, but I said it was okay, I would pay for my own. We sat side-by-side on the stools, and I did this thing where she was facing me, and both my legs were outside of hers, and both of hers were inside mine.

“Whoa!” she said when this happened. I had shocked her, I guess, but she didn’t resist, and we sat there like that the whole time. I had learned this sitting style from David DeAngelo.

Afterward, I wanted to go to an internet café to turn the heat up a bit, without actually saying I wanted to go to an internet café to turn the heat up a bit. I made it look like an accident.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” and I walked up the stairs to the internet café.

I asked them inside if I could use the bathroom, and they said, no, customers only. On the pretext that I also wanted to hear her favorite music, I said, “Hey, let’s get an internet café room for a couple hours. You can show me your favorite music on Youtube, and we can get drink bar, and I can go to the bathroom.”

She agreed. It was cold in there. We got blankets and cuddled while listening to her favorite music.

Now, the smelling technique is SUPPOSED TO work like a charm. Anyone from Neil Strauss to one of my good friends here in Japan (a “natural” I guess you could call him) will say that if anything works at turning her on, this does. But for some reason it NEVER WORKS with me. I’ve even tried it on my girlfriend, and she just laughed and sniffed me back as if we were two weird dogs sniffing each other.

“You smell really good,” I said. She shirked away, laughing, saying “Hazukashii” (“I’m shy”). I kept at it though. I tried doing the push-pull thing, but that didn’t seem to work either---when I took it away, everything seemed to get back to normal instead of her wanting more.

So I thought, “Well, this shit is supposed to work, so might as well see how this ends up.” I kissed her on her neck and ears and gradually worked my way to her mouth, and we kissed for a bit. She kept saying, “Hazukashii.” Now, I’m no expert at Japan-speak, but it seemed to me like she felt embarrassed doing that there in an internet café where the walls were so thin and someone could easily look in.
So I stopped.

A week later, a Japanese girl friend of mine would tell me that Ai didn’t want me to stop. She said there's, “Hazukashii” and then there’s “Yada!” (“Get away from me!”). When it’s not a “Yada!” it means she wants more, according to this friend.

But back in the internet café, we have me stopping. Not the place or the time, I thought. Plus, this wasn’t my original inention anyway, to go all the way in that cubicle. It was mainly to build a comfort bridge. If the girl spent time with me in a confined space and got out without saying “Yada!” then she would be more likely to come into another confined space with me in the future, such as my apartment.

After we broke from our embrace, I suggested we watch a movie. We cuddled some more. Mystery says to do this. When there’s last minute resistance, he says don’t get all upset and leave, stay there and she’ll come around eventually once you build more comfort.

We got through about half of the movie, and she said we should leave. Had I blown it? No, I don’t think so. I did the kino tests afterward, where you give her light kino and then release to see if she returns the kino. When we were on our way to the Halloween costume shop, I walked ahead of her to lead the way, and she would come up behind me and grab my arm and hold it.

When we got to the Halloween shop, I didn’t expect her to buy anything. I wasn’t even going to buy anything. I hadn’t even decided what I wanted to be for Halloween yet. But I picked out a costume for her.

“I think you’d look good in pink.” I picked out a pink costume for her.

“Really?? You think this would look good on me?”

She bought it. I didn’t expect her to buy that random costume I just
saw out of the corner of my eye, but she bought it. "She must really like me," I thought, "she’s already investing money into this!"

I got her to the train station at 6. We had spent 6 hours together. The internet café ordeal had happed about 4 hours in. Before we parted ways, I told her I wanted to see her again, and next time we would go to the Ramen Museum in Yokohama (near where I live).

She said she had fun in her e-mail after she got to her party. She wanted to go to Yokohama.

Time passed, and the big aforementioned Halloween weekend was coming up. She wanted to go to a party with me so I could see her costume. I told her I couldn’t go to a party with her because I was going to another party and the guest list was already full. That wasn’t actually the case, but Halloween is full of horny little cats and Tinker-bells, and I wanted a taste of that action. Ai and I could hang out the weekend AFTER this.

I told her some other parties she could go to with her friends. I would find out later that she took my advice and went to one of the places I suggested.

I told her I couldn’t go to any of those parties with her, but we could hang out the next weekend. She said she was busy that weekend.

A week or so after that I got her Skype name and called her. We had a great conversation (as usual) and at the end I asked her when she was free to hang out. She said she was busy that weekend.

I Skyped her again another night. It almost seemed like she didn’t want to talk to me.

I thought it was time to recalibrate. Maybe she was a party girl and she would only see value in me if I were part of a partying crew. I am, so I thought I’d calibrate towards that. Maybe parties were what made her excited, and I party a lot anyway. I would tell her about this party that was going on at a club that weekend where my friend was DJing.

She said she already had plans.

But this party is gonna be off the hook. Invite your friends too.

I’ll let my other friends know about the party, but I’m busy.

But the party goes on all night. (She was probably just having a small get-together at an izakaya with her friends, I was thinking. My party was a much better idea. This was a big event with international models and everything!).

I told her I’d send her directions and to let me know when she got there. I never got a return e-mail from her, so I just let it sit for the weekend. On Monday I asked if she wanted to Skype on Tuesday so I could tell her my awesome story. She never responded.

Eventually I got her to write back, and she said she was really busy, that she had made a lot of new friends, and that she couldn’t see me.

"Are you angry?" she asked.

"No, I’m not angry." I had to find out what went wrong, so I asked her, "Were you angry that I didn’t hang out with you during Halloween to see your costume?"

"No, of course not," was the reply. "We’re friends. I wouldn’t get angry at something like that."

And that’s where I let it end. Somehow something went wrong, and I don’t know what it was. I’ve got an “A”, “B”, “C”, and “D” of possible reasons that this attraction just flatlined out of nowhere. Here they are:

A) I went too far in the internet café, she felt uncomfortable, and when I said I wanted her to come hang out with me in Yokohama, it translated as, “I want you to come have sex with me in Yokohama.”

B) She really did like me at first and bought the Halloween costume to show that she liked me. When I said I couldn’t hang out, she felt hurt. She felt that she shouldn’t have bought something like that with someone she just met. She was stupid. We were just friends after all.

"And if he did really like me, he would invite me to his party. Actually, he’s probably just out there hitting on other girls right now and taking them to internet cafes!"

C) She really is busy, and we live 2 hours away from each other, and she still is attracted to me, but, being a college student and all, she just doesn’t have the time or need. She’s got plenty of guys and international people around her all the time. One white-boy is the same as any other white-boy. The only difference is in accessibility.

D) This one goes along with my friend, the “natural”s, theory that for girls who are particularly attractive you have to act fast. You can’t beat around the bush or the next guy is just gonna swoop on down and nab her away from you any minute. Her attention span for attraction is akin to the editing in a Transformers movie.

Later, my friend would retract this statement and say he never said it, but I think it rings true in a sense.

What do you guys think? “A”, “B”, “C” or “D”? Perhaps you might want to include an “E” or an “F”? Perhaps it’s a combination of all of the above? Have you had any similar experiences or wisdom to shed? Please do! You guys have been gold so far ;)