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Jeremy Soul
03-21-2010, 12:27 AM
One of the most powerful tools you have at your disposal to move along the Emotional Progression Model and seduce a women is storytelling. The power of stories is that they can help you in most areas of the Emotional Progression Model (i.e. Approaching, Attraction, Comfort, and even Qualification a little bit). Some stories can even achieve multiple aims at the same time (i.e. Approaching + Attraction, or Attraction + Comfort).

As discussed in Magic Bullets (http://www.lovesystems.com/books/magic-bullets), building Attraction is primarily about having a woman discover your positive characteristics. One way to do this is for a woman to be told about them by you. Storytelling is great because it allows you to tell a woman almost anything you want about yourself. When building Comfort, storytelling can help build a meaningful connection with a woman. Stories provide a great opportunity for her to get to know you better and should encourage her to tell you about herself as well.

My preferred approach to story-telling comes from Magic Bullets, and has six distinct components: A hook line, The Flow (main content of the story), Embedded information, Opportunities for input, Open threads, and the Conclusion.


Hook Lines

One of the biggest mistakes men make is taking their audiences interest for granted. To make sure that the woman you are talking to is interested in your story, you should start with a ďhook lineĒ to grab her interest. You have to find a way to create demand for your story. Before you tell someone something, they have to want to hear it if they are going to listen intently. The best way to gain someoneís interest is either by doing something unexpected, or by making them curious. The two are not mutually exclusive. Either way they will want to keep listening and/or interacting with you to find out where you are going with things. Basically, once youíre already in a conversation, try and create some curiosity within her before you tell a story. Make it your goal next time you go out to have a girl asking you to tell her a specific story that you have in mind.

Building curiosity could be as simple as asking ďHave you ever been to Mexico?Ē before you tell a great story about the vacation you just had there. Itís also a great way of testing out the waters before focusing too much on a subject she has no interest in. If she answers ďno, but Iíve always wanted to go to CancunĒ, then you know youíve hooked her. However, you know itís best to save the story for another time if she says ďIíve never been to Mexico. Iím just not really interested in that part of the world.Ē


The Flow

Donít spend a lot of time discussing the preamble to your story. You can work in necessary details as needed - you should parachute right into your story. The first mission of a good story is to grab attention (instead of giving background information).

Also, itís important to remember that women listen differently than men. Donít focus on the logical details unless they help you paint a vivid picture of the story in your audiences mind. Make your story one that is centered around emotions and feelings.


Embedded Information

Embedding is when you tell a story that appears to be about one subject to subtly tell listeners about something else. The ďsomething elseĒ is usually positive characteristics about yourself that you donít want to bring up directly to avoid obvious bragging or the appearance of trying too hard to impress her.

For example, if you went to a prestigious college, you can embed that piece of information in a story about when you were in college. One way to do that would be by mentioning the location (i.e. if you set your story in New Haven most people will know you went to Yale). Another way to do it would be by mentioning a story about the college sports team you root for. That way the fact that you went to a top school naturally comes out in the conversation, and you donít have to force it.


Opportunities for Input

The best stories involve their audience in the journey. It makes the interaction more of a dialogue than a monologue. Just be careful that the input a woman gives doesnít take you somewhere you donít want the conversation to go. The easiest way to get input is to ask a question. For example, if youíre talking about scuba diving, you should ask the woman youíre talking to if she scuba dives.


Conclusion

The ending of a good story doesnít have to get everyone breaking out in laughter like the end of a classic Seinfeld episode. Whatís important is that you clearly communicate that the story is over. As you develop your storytelling skills, then you can worry about ending on a humorous note, subtly working in a demonstration of high social value, or sharing a deep insight or lesson.


Other Tips

Use vivid language: Help your audience feel like they are there with you. Use sensory language to spark the visual part of your audiences mind. As Savoy says, you should be able to see, smell, feel, hear, and taste everything that you were sensing at that moment.

Tell stories you care about: How many of your stories are about things you really care about, know about, etc.? If you tell too many stories about things that are peripheral to who you are, then you are diluting your image, and worse, no one will care about them!

Loud, Slow, and Clear: Generally speaking, the best method of storytelling is speaking in a slow, measured pace. This allows you to tell your story clearly, and gives you ample opportunity to emphasize different parts of the story where appropriate. Speeding up a little, or speaking softly at certain points can add to the story... just make sure you arenít doing it so often it becomes more the rule than the exception. Also, changing your tone when quoting another person from your story is often well received (especially when telling a funny story).

No one cares about all the big/fancy words you know: One of the biggest mistakes people make when talking is being too abstract. Itís hard for people to create a mental image of your story if they donít understand what youíre saying, and/or you use too many abstract words.

Keep it focused: Try and stick to the rule of three (i.e. if you try to talk about more than three things at once you will end up talking about nothing, or at least your audience wonít remember any of it). If youíre all over the place with your story youíll confuse your audience.

Other Resources: A great book that can help you with your storytelling is ďMade to StickĒ by Chip and Dan Heath. Also, if you want examples of great storytelling to look at, I would encourage you to read any of Malcolm Gladwellís books, or to check out his New Yorker archive (http://www.gladwell.com/archive.html).


For hundreds of complete stories that the masters use, check out the Love Systems Routines Manual. (http://www.lovesystems.com/books/routines-manual)