Discuss chick making fun of me behind my back at the The 30+ Forum within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; chick making fun of me behind my back
was opening/transitioning HB8 and DUFF, when i ...
chick making fun of me behind my back
was opening/transitioning HB8 and DUFF, when i sensed one of their friends was making fun of me behind my back (my teacher's 6th sense!). didn't know how to handle that, so i rolled off. my buds confirmed that my sense was right, the chick was making fun of my height.
question 1: i wasn't 100% sure that she was making fun of me at the time, so i didn't want to falsely accuse her because that would be a huge DLV and indicator of low self esteem on my part. what should i have done?
2: if i had been SURE, what should i have done?
You don't give much information about either your height or hers, but you might have said something like "What are you, like eight feet tall?", or "Don't make me come down there." Clearly, busting her chops would have DHV'd you. Instead, you let her get to you, and that was enough DLV to probably wreck the set.
sorry for the lack of details:
i'm short, 5-6 (5-7 w/ skechers!). the chick behind my back was average chick height, 5-7 to 5-8 or so. dunno about the HB i was talking to, she was sitting at a bar stool.
i don't think any of the girls knew that i knew. actually, i didn't know, but i suspected. i didn't catch her outright, nor did i know she was busting specifically on my (lack of) height until i got back to my buddies and they confirmed she was making fun of me and it was regarding my height.
so i couldn't have said any of your suggestions cuz i had no idea WHAT she was busting me for.
AFTERWARDS, i was thinking i shoulda turned to her and said, "wow, you're mature..." then turned back to HB and said, "how do you roll with her?"
how about, "yeah, i remember when i had MY first beer, too..."
any other ideas dudes?
the chick was making fun of you...b/c you were getting the attention of her friend and not HER. It had nothing to do with your height....if it was`nt that... it would`ve been the shirt you were wearing....
You can`t bust her balls , because the hb will side with her friend and you just lost out.
You could`ve / should`ve invited her into the convo briefly, won her over then smoothly get back to the hb. Then you would`ve looked good..DHV, and the the chic would`ve looked immature.
the hb will will side w/ her friend, otherwise she`ll be like a traitor...kid stuff as you know...." everything we learned in junior high...." blah..blah...blah...
"Act surprised...Show concern...Deny...Deny...Deny".
Yeah, if this was a two set (or anything other than a one set), you needed to acknowledge her within the first few seconds of opening, befriend her, then eliminate her as the obstacle that she was.
I just said that....
"Act surprised...Show concern...Deny...Deny...Deny".
Indeed you did. I was just reframing it to a way that I myself could understand better. (I'm pretty much a noob at this.)
This point hit home with me sometime around September. I was just starting to read Mystery's book, and his show was still on the air. I went out to a local bar, not to meet women, but to get wasted and contemplate the concepts I was just newly hearing about. At one point I stepped out to have a smoke, and standing there were two real hotties that I'd seen in the bar. They were smokin'. (Take that any way you want.)
Now normally I'm pretty shy and I wanted to keep to myself, but there was something odd about the situation that I couldn't put my finger on. It took me maybe three or four seconds to figure out what it was. They had stopped talking to each other, and they were giving me curious sideways glances. It dawned on me the message that they were sending me loud and clear was "Talk to us. Now."
Now normally I would have shyly averted my eyes, but their invitation was so compelling that I felt like I had to come up with some powerful opener. I grabbed the first thing that popped into my head. "Hey." Brilliant. So there I was, talking to the cuter of the two, and all sorts of thoughts were running through my head. DHV. No, wait, DLV. Neg her. Hoop theory. IOI. IBM. Iacocca. I had no idea what these things even meant, much less how to implement them. I was lost. My head was swimming. I was in way too deep.
The one move that I needed to make that occurred to me was "There are two of them. Acknowledge the blonde." I did, and immediately, without really knowing it at the time, I reached the hook point. All of this happened in about ten seconds.
It was a good lesson learned. Too bad I was too drunk to take things any further.
say "hey chick i may be small but i could beat up your dad"
Originally Posted by orion1018
I don't have to explain to you that you come into your set with lack of authority?!!
Use your teacher skills to establish authority and leadership in a set.
She was making fun of your frame was weak.
Here is a positive spin: if she was making fun of you, she liked you enough to talk about you. It's better than no reaction.
I a sure girls make fun of me behind my back sometimes, i don't even see it or acknowledge it.
As you know, kids make fun of other kids to trigger response, then it becomes even MORE fun to make fun of the victim.
The ghost of pua's past.
Actually referring to your height and self-depreciation are great tools because they're going to have to do better.
Best thing to do is move on from it and not worry about what one person says, esp. if she wasn't someone you were attracted to. There's always one critic in a group of women, and they usually don't take criticism well.