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Discuss College girls... for a 40+? at the The 30+ Forum within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; College girls... for a 40+? Hi all, 2nd post here. Yes I've read the stuff... ...
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    College girls... for a 40+?

    Hi all, 2nd post here. Yes I've read the stuff... and yet I have a mental sticking point, so any tips / experience you can offer:

    Me: 41. Fit/good looking. 4 months divorced. Have 1 post-divorce score and some good closes off of Match.com.

    Now I'm working in a college town, so every bar is full of 20-something hotties who are out to party and have fun. Should be a great environment - and I bet it is, if you're 25/under.

    So there's my hangup - help me get over it - Is it all in my head? Is it a different play for a 40+ to pickup a 20-something college girl?

    thx
    Frank



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    Yes, it is possible and not unusual for a fit and confident 40-something to attrace college-age girls.

    I was out at one of those country-western line-dance venues a couple of weeks ago and was approached by several 20ish HBs.

    It doesn't happen always, but it can. The bigger question is what are you going to do with them?

    I never have, no do I desire a LTR with a girl of this type. But for a few hours or a weekend....they rock

    bone

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    I'm in the same boat and have a similar hangup. I can't speak from experience so you may disqualify what I say; but, it was explained to me that many younger women are actually attracted to the maturity/stability of an older man. That's what I tell myself when I'm out; but, I can't say that I have actually run across one yet (could be a lack of trying though). I do notice that I don't get the looks that say "Who is this creepy old guy that's looking at me?" like I have imagined I would see.

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    I've had no problems with the 21ish age group. They're very curious about who I am and very comfortable with me very quickly. I have to say that age is an asset with the younger women.

    Just be confident and not the least bit needy (you should be any way, but as an older man you should ooze confidence).

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    I agree with Taylor Noble, I also have no problems with college aged girls, one of the reasons is that I am 38 but I look like I am in my mid to late 20's. Younger women are naturally attracted to older men. So don't feel bad about being older, your age is actually an asset!

    - Paul

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    Get your "inner game" together...it's all in your head!

    Once you truly BELIEVE that you are every bit entitled to go after younger women they will sense your confidence & be attracted - on the other hand the opposite is also true...if you feel unsure of yourself they'll sense that and be repelled by your insecurity!
    I never get rejected. I only discover if a woman has good taste or not. (Ross Jeffries)

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    I used to hang with a 40+ guy that banged 21 year olds on a regular basis. I'm 34 and still bang 18-21 year olds. Nothing wrong with that. However, I wouldn't be honest about your age though. For younger girls, it seems that if you tell them your real age, they associate it with being "old" and "not fun". (much like their parents) That's just my humble opinion about the subject.

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    My problem is just talking to them at all. I just don't have a good frame of reference for their interests or what will DHV. I also bore of them quickly. It's hard to game them when I can't even bring myself to pay attention to what they're saying.

    I can't even put myself into a college frame of mind, because i went to an engineering school, and we had no women there, and spent all our time talking about chess and diff-eq's (well not quite, but you get the point).

    As much as I hate to say it, if you're over 40 and can get away with saying 39, you're much better off. Just had a conversation with a 49 yr old buddy about this. He says he was much more successful with lower 20's women when he could pass for 39. Most women can handle fooling around with a guy one decade up , but not two (then you're their parents generation)

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    Ok, I can’t believe I’m going to give away some of my trade secrets. But what the heck.

    Let me preface this by saying my goal is not a ONS here, it’s an actual short-term relationship. So lying about my age is out of the question. Also I want to add I’ve never been married, no children, etc. So basically I’m a more mature, available guy with more resources and life experience than the guys she’s used to interacting with. Here it goes.

    First, be rock-solid confident. We’re talking George W Bush cock-sure of yourself. Don’t even think about letting her shit test you, let alone let it fluster you. We’re talking cranking it up to 11 on the confidence here. Then crank it up to 11 again. Nothing she can do will faze you no matter how hard she tries.

    Second, if she asks the age question your response depends on what stage you are in. If she’s doing it to qualify me (in Attraction) then I throw up a big hoop. E.g.

    HBYoung “How old are you, anyway?”
    TN “How much do you weigh?”

    Said cock-sure of yourself that will be 100% congruent and she’ll laugh and may actually tell you her weight. (To which I answer, “Well I’m less than THAT!”) Also I pull that one out fast so I don’t skip a beat. I throw it at her immediately. The implication is, “I’m not screwing around here, you asked an inappropriate question and I’ll throw one back at you in a heartbeat. “ The purpose is the same as a neg – I’m making her think she committed a faux pas.

    Now if the topic comes up in Comfort then it’s a different matter completely. In Comfort I tell her. Again, remember you’re cock-sure of yourself so if you said you just had your 97th birthday last week she would be fine with it.

    Third, qualify her 3x more than normal. I’m skeptical that she’s worth my time and she has to prove me wrong. That’s the frame and I keep it right up through Comfort. Qualify her, qualify her, qualify her. She’s in college? What is she going to do with her life? Be a nurse? Save the whales? What else? She works in AmeriCorps, too? I’ll give her an IOI for that. I think the 3x qualify factor helps her feel more comfortable with me knowing I’m a good bit older than she but actually interested in HER not in her LOOKS.

    Also on qualification, be ready to reject her. She’s young and inexperienced –make her know that you expect a lot more from her than the average 20something guy and she stands a very real chance of blowing it with you. She needs to know deep down you really will walk on her and get a better HB. In fact I like to make sure they “catch” another young woman sending me IOIs; All the time, not just during Attraction. 2 months into it I want her to feel like if she lets go or slacks off I’m gone. Basically I will FTC the whole relationship, not just the opener.

    Fourth, be active and understand what’s going on in the world. Most college women are aware of the world and tuned in to social issues. Basically have a life outside of work so you can relate. I happen to travel extensively so I use that. She’s probably not lived in Europe or Latin America. I can tell story after story about the time I was in…… You get the idea. Also, don’t whisk her away to Paris, but tell her about when you worked in Paris for 3 months, etc.

    But more importantly, be able to relate to her world. Find out what is on the mind of most 20somthign women. Talk to them everywhere you can so you get a feel for what phrases they use in your area, what topics they are interested in, etc. Yesterday I opened two HBs at the supermarket just to find out what’s going on here. Get in touch with what events are interesting , etc. That way you can relate to her.


    Fifth, you’re 40+. You better be solid emotionally and financially. The biggest question in her mind will be, “Why is this guy talking to me” followed closely by, “Why is this guy 40is and single?” By the time you’re 40 you should have 6 figures in your bank account. Act like it. Things that seem like the end of the world to her just won’t faze you anymore. Don’t go out trying to act 20 – then you’re competing with the 20somthings on their turf. You’re above it all – more mature, more stable and more emotionally ready for a real relationship.

    Last but not least. They say they’re not interested in a 40+ when they’re 20somethign. It’s not true. I’ve seen on a lot of dating sites women put down age range 21 – 39. If you’re everything I just outlined above, you’re in. Like it or not you’ll have to overcome some stereotypes, but you can do it with ease.

    In short: Hook them with your cock-sure confidence, qualify them 3x more than normal and give them a lot to relate to in Comfort. Then make them believe you’ll drop ’em like a rotten tomato for that HB eyeing you if they don’t live up to your super-high standards.

    TN

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    I just started grad school and was having a similar issue. I am 28 and I let that get to my head for the first few weeks I was here. I can blend in with the 21 year olds but age will eventually come out in conversation. I dont lie about it but I certianly dont make it the topic of conversation either. I have found very quickly that if you approach with confidence and build attraction it isnt a problem at all. Use any one of the thousands of techniqes on this board correctly and dont give another thought.

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