Discuss Why It's Easier To Date Girls in Their Twenties at the The 30+ Forum within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Why It's Easier To Date Girls in Their Twenties
Hey guys, I'd like to get ...
Why It's Easier To Date Girls in Their Twenties
Hey guys, I'd like to get your feedback on something. I am 35, and I've noticed that I have more success dating women in their twenties than women in their thirties. Do you have the same experience?
I have friends who are married, or who have girlfriends, and I often find that they would give ANYTHING to date someone younger. Ironically, as a single guy, I've had an easier time with twenty-somethings than thirty-somethings.
In no particular order, here are a few reasons why.
- Women in their 30s don't "need" a boyfriend. Their libido is higher than when they were in their 20s, and they are often satisfied with a FWB, or a ONS. So a 30-something might sleep with you, but getting her to date you is trickier.
- There are more single women in their twenties than in their thirties. Do the math - a lot of women in their thirties are paired up.
- Women in their thirties know what they want. How many times have you dated someone in their thirties that had a laundry list of things she expected from a man? Everything from a fat 401K, to a nice car, to good abs. Yet how many times have you met a girl in their 20s who was happy to meet a guy that listened to the same radio station they liked? Women in their 30s are simply more demanding.
- Women in their thirties don't need your money. This one is ironic; a woman in her thirties is making two or three times as much as a woman in their twenties. Ironically, they have their own money, but they also place a higher value on dating a wealthy man. On the other hand, a woman in her twenties is often broke, and she'll go out with a 35yo guy because he can afford to do things that 25yo guys can't.
- Women in their thirties have a big sense of "entitlement." Have you ever dated someone in their thirties who acted like their sh1t didn't stink? As a man, we often forget that women value different things than men do. Could this explain why we've all dated semi-affluent but homely looking women who acted like they were God's gift? Could it be that these women don't realize that we couldn't care less about how big their bank account is? (Even though the size of ours is a big deal?)
- Women in their twenties typically have less baggage. How many times have you met someone in their thirties that you "clicked" with, only to find that she had BAGGAGE. This could be anything from a divorce, to kids, to trauma over an old relationship. All of this BAGGAGE makes it hard to develop a relationship, doesn't it? People in their twenties have this problem too, but to less of an extent.
What do you think guys?
Originally Posted by Folsom
It's true, for a number of reasons. First of all, women in their thirties are a different generation. They're a generation that had more traditional dating, where they expect the man to pay and kiss ass and bring flowers and all that. Many of them expect this AFC behavior, and if they don't see it, they assume you are a player. This is especially true if they were married or otherwise out of the dating scene for any significant amount of time, and less true for women who have constantly dated since their twenties. The ones who dated continuously are more likely to have adapted to the dating style of the next generation, while women who got into LTR's and end up back in the dating scene after several years are starting wherever they left off.
They also are feeling their biological clock, even if they tell you they don't want kids or whatever, there's just no ignoring a biological imperative. The reason their libido is higher is because their body is telling them to reproduce before it's too late. This certainly has an impact on their dating style. Many of them will disqualify you at the drop of a hat, because their clock is ticking and they have this drive to find "the right man" before their reproduction window is closed.
Women in their thirties are also a lot more likely to have gone through a bunch of players when they were younger, and now be looking for a controllable chump to settle down with. So they'll disqualify players for that too, because they've already had the players and they're tired and ready for some stability. Once they've found a stable man to pay their rent, that's when they'll start trolling for dick on the side. These are the women who cheat when they meet an "exciting and passionate guy" in a bar somewhere, because their stable man at home isn't doing that for them.
Lucifer -- you just reached 666 posts!
Oh no, its the apocalypse!
Originally Posted by SeattleWilly
My experience w/women in their 30s has led me to a slightly different conclusion. I had to laugh @ Folsom's statement:
Could this explain why we've all dated semi-affluent but homely looking women who acted like they were God's gift?
I dated exactly one woman in this highly-prized category in my mid 20s. She was 8 years older, more than semi affluent, but made up for it in her extreme lack of sexiness and humilty. She did have many redeeming qualities, but the bottom line is, if I stayed with her much longer, I'd still be in prison today...
I've dated quite a few women in their 30s since then (none of them plain-janes; I did manage to learn THAT lesson), and my experience shows me over and over that these women aren't going Oprah on me, talking about "I don't need a man".....ohhhh no! That would be a joyous change of pace! All I ever run into are the ones Diablo mentioned---These women act like they know exactly what they want when they see me, and are talking all manner of booyah about children and the picket fence.
Compared to all that sorry melodrama, a ditzy, broke-ass, flakey 20-something seems like heaven. But actually, my preference remains for those rare 30-40 year old women who are very nicely put together, as little baggage as I have (very little) and still fun to be around even though old and experienced enough to have endured some of life's knocks.
How 'bout it fellas? There's plenty of compelling reasons, as pointed out in the OP, to avoid the 30-somethings...but all things being equal (drama factor, baggage, etc), I think i might have to stick w/the 30s....
Originally Posted by El_Burro
I agree with you in many ways. Granted, I am 38 (holy shit I'm gonna be 39 in a few days), but I've been with enough women to know the sweet spot for me. I am tired of pretending I associate or agree with a young woman who gives me her opinion like she knows how life works. She doesn't.
The upside with younger women is that they are easier to attract and they have softer skin. The downside is that they have no life experience, and a lot of them haven't even experienced an orgasm. Sexually, women hit their prime in their 30s. They seem to feel comfortable doing things in bed that younger women are afraid of.
The best age for me is 28 to 35, although I am willing to go outside those boundaries because my penis always carries the trump card.
How to choose? How to choose?
In re-reading everyone's posts, Y'all make some really good points, pro and con, for each generation. As long as you're staying in the playing zone, this remains a purely rhetorical discussion. It's when you're trying to decide whether or not to transition to an LTR or at least some kind of meaningful arrangement that these considerations suddenly have real traction.
I still place the highest value on the rapport, the connection. So far, I've achieved that a lot more reliably with the 30-somethings. Most 20 somethings I've dated I couldn't take very seriously for very long; even the ones who were really sweet and smokin'; after a very short period of time I came to the point that I'd rather smack myself in the head w/a hammer than be forced to listen to their vacuous, inane babbling. Like SW said, you just don't have much in common w/yer average 20-something; it is a RARE HB from this age bracket that really has it going on and continues to be stimulating to talk to...I've dated a couple like that. I just wasn't ready to settle down yet, so I had to eventually cut things off.... my loss I guess.
Having said that, it's even MORE rare to find a 30 something that has all of the above still going on, w/o having so much baggage as to make it more trouble than it's worth to invest in a relationship. What's more, the 30- somethings are a lot less willing to stay in the 'play' zone for very long.
Ole Devil boy calls it being demanding, and maybe that's what it is for a lot of 'em. I think that as they get older, they tend to get better about figuring out what they want, and time is suddenly a lot more precious and finite than it was for them in their 20s.... so the pressure to commit is gonna predictably come a helluva lot more fast and furious from them: "Where is this relationship going?" blah blah
At least that's always how it's been w/the ones I've dated. I do agree w/Folsom that perhaps there's a generational difference; the 20 somethings
collectively have a different mentality about 'hooking up' and keeping things casual and playing the field longer---which I think all of us can agree with is a major positive. If this is what Folsom meant w/his OP, then I completely agree... of course, when these 20 somethings reach their 30s, we'll see if they're still singing the same tune....and still willing to keep it casual for as long.....I dunno. You guys say you keep running into 30 somethings who wanna stay single and (choke) don't need our money; they only want to exercise their newfound libidos---all I can say is, I must be looking in the wrong places. Where ARE these women? They'd be my ideal...
It's just the whole connection/being-able-to-talk-to- 'em factor..... does it really matter so much that you can keep 20 somethings as FBs for longer and that they are "easier to date", if you lose all interest in engaging them on any other level? Or am I desiring more out of that kind of arrangement than is feasible?
Since there are so few HBs that fill the bill or at least most of the important areas are so rare, and dating is, afterall a numbers game, the longtime solution for me has been serial casual dating... but as I get older, the advantages of a LTR are not lost on me altogether. It's been quite a while since I've been in one...and it's REALLY been a long while since I've been in a GOOD one! The long awaited answer to the question "What is as rare as a day in June?" seems to be a SHB (20s or 30s) who is as engaging and non-
smothering as she is, attractive....with about as much baggage as you have. (It'd be hypocritical to expect her to have way less).
Young women are the best!
Hey guys, I am 38 and absolutely agree that women in their 20s are the best! They have less baggage, probably no kids, no ex-husband to contend with and YES, they are more attractive!! You can have that 35 year old divorcee with 3 kids, not me, no thanks! Luckily for me, I look like I am about 25 but really I am 38! Nobody can believe that I am even in my late twenties let alone 38! That really helps when I try to meet college girls. They just assume I am a grad student! I can pull girls that are 18 with no problem!! As a matter of fact if I tell a girl my real age (which I rarely do) she does not believe me and I have to show her my drivers license! I love guys who have the attitude, " no, I am NOT too old for any women as long as she is of legal age."
There is something else that is going on. Many women when they are in their mid to late twenties view men their own age as immature. Because of this they become more attracted to men in their 30’s and 40’s.
There is something else that I’ve noticed. Somewhere around 40 or so many women become more aggressive in getting men to have sex with them. It’s like they spend their 20’s and 30’s thinking that they can always get a guy to do whatever they want. Suddenly at 40 they are no longer in demand and have to go after the men that they are interested in.
Originally Posted by Potato
this is EXACTLY what happens, i had a 45 year old cougar catcalling me yesterday at the beach WHILE my fiance and her girl friend were standing right next to me.
oldr chicks get DESPERATE when they are on vacation or just have no man.