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Im 32 Years Old - No Social Life - I am Going Nuts
I dont know how much I am going to type here, but I just wanted to say hello on here and release some of my issues.
I hope I dont piss anyone off... but I'd love anyone's input.
Despite the desire to be wordy, I will try to be concise and to the point.
I am a 32 year old dude. I am small-boned (have some issues with it) but I am 5'11" and all my life I've been viewed as good looking. As a child I was a nerd (still am) but was always was very popular. I became a big pot smoker at 18 and eventually got into hard drugs (heroin) by 24 and I have been sober since. Despite it all, I had a fantastic social life due to high school and college.
I love people. I love women.. probably way more than most guys. Throughout my life I've dated and slept with maybe 25 women, and I got my fair share of attention, especially when I was not sober and I had significantly less anxiety.
I've still had several episodes with women over the last few years, but I've mainly been with girlfriends, (although I have had some outside encounters a few times during down periods)
Anyway, here is the deal: I have now been sober 7 years. I make my money via the internet and I've done very well for myself. but I have NO social life.
Oh, and I forgot to mention, I"ve been dating a very hot foreign girl for about 3 years but I am just not ready to commit... so we are in the process of breaking up.
So now I am 32 years old, half my friends are married.. or are about to get married, and I stll want to be 18 years old again. Part of me wants to get intoxicated again (only drink - no drug use) and just cease the day and live life up..
(Sad but true: I find partying moments some of the most alive moments in my life.)
However, dont get me wrong -- I do not have to drink again to have a good time. I can do it sober too.
Anyway, I am rambling here, but I just wanted some feedback on what the hell to do. I tried to join OKCupid recently only to find that no one writes me back.. and I hate writing shit to people knowing they might not write back. Plus, I feel like quality women are not on there.. and if they are quality, they do not NEED to go on there.
So a part of me wants to find a wingman. I have ONE guy friend in the metro area that I live in, and I've recently asked him if he was gay. I had a hunch for a long time and now we've come to the conclusion that hes sexually confused and .. well, I thnk hes quite confused with a lot of things in his life.
I've also perused Meetup.com but I am not sure what kind of people are in there..
Well, I really do not know what the point of this post is .... I guess I have many questions.
What do I do with my life? Where do I meet wingmen? Can I go out alone? Should I travel abroad?
Also, what are the best materials to read? I've done The Game, years ago, but I also have discovered Mark Manson, and I found him quite interesting. Anyone ever heard of him?
THe material I would truly LOVE to listen to / watch would be recordings of actual conversations with women. Because that is where I really struggle. I cannot flirt and I've kind of become the sort of odd guy.. probably because I have NO social life and work 100% from home.
Anyway sorry for all the ramblings -- I'd love to get some feedback if anyone has any
In the interests of your sobriety, do not start drinking- it could easily lead to a relapse.
I recommend reading Magic Bullets and reading as much as you can stand on here about Inner Game.
Women have two types of toys: teddy bears and vibrators. Teddy bears are for when they are emotional and want to watch romcoms, and vibrators for when they want to get off. What toy are you?
The best course of action is to sit down and write out some activities that actually interest you. Then find a place to do them. The gym is a good place to meet some cool guys. I ended up taking Muay Thai and you meet really cool people by simply going out and exploring.
If you want to meet women go out to the clubs and speak to them. You don't need a wingman to speak to women as even if your out with them there not going to hold your hand, everytime a man speaks to a woman he is doing it alone!
Here are a few things you need to do.
Join a gym and bulk up (just gain a few pounds of muscle). Women LOVE a well-built man, trust me !
Sort out your grooming; get a haircut, shave, invest in a good cologne, dress smart.
Go out more. Mingle with the ladies.
Go to clubs. There are ALWAYS plenty of gorgeous women there.
DO NOT WATCH PORN & masturbate. It will mess you up (once again, trust me on that one).
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