22 Year old female dating a 38 Year old man

Discuss 22 Year old female dating a 38 Year old man at the The 30+ Forum within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; 22 Year old female dating a 38 Year old man Hey, first post at the ...

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  1. #1
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    22 Year old female dating a 38 Year old man

    Hey, first post at the forums!
    Anyhow i don't know the purpose of this thread, but i am dating a 38 year old guy. I decided and was eager to give this guy a try. Nothing serious but just having fun. He is completely single and had only had a girlfriend before, we've known each other for 4 years as friends and share common interests.


    Any tips, comments, advice?



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    Yeah, F~k him like the world is coming to an end, seriously never get off it, always be wanting to do it. If you keep that up for at least a month you'll have him for the rest of his life. He won't know what hit him. And if you really want to mind-fuck him after giving it to him full stop, totally be uninterested in it for weeks - he'll be on this forum trying to figure out how to get you back in no time haha -- OK just kidding don't do that because that's just mean but it's what happens a lot.

    Honestly, just smile, laugh, enjoy the moment take it slow - the world's not ending tomorrow. As long as you both are enjoying each others company -- enjoy.

    If you run into any problems that's what we're here for 10 heads are better than one

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    As long as you and him are having a great time together, that's all that really matters. Knowing someone for 4 years is more than giving them a "test run" though.

    Quote Originally Posted by fridaynightgurl View Post
    Hey, first post at the forums!
    Anyhow i don't know the purpose of this thread, but i am dating a 38 year old guy. I decided and was eager to give this guy a try. Nothing serious but just having fun. He is completely single and had only had a girlfriend before, we've known each other for 4 years as friends and share common interests.


    Any tips, comments, advice?

  6. #6
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    Honestly being a 34yo guy (I don't act that old, trust me) I can tell you there's a huge difference in maturity and life experience between the two of you. Not saying that to put you down at all, it's just the way it is. I personally wont date anyone younger than 25 because of that. Not saying it won't work, just that you need to keep some things in mind if you are going to keep it working.

    You really have to try hard to step out of your own shoes, and imagine how different it is in his. This horrible thing called responsibilities has probably become a MUCH bigger reality in his life than when he was 22. Life experience can leave you kind of jaded when you get some years under your belt, because you realize every 5 years or so that you've made a leap in how much you understand, that you were almost oblivious to before. So knowing that, just try to figure out which parts of your behavior he finds cute and endearing, and which parts (the most immature things) he might cringe at a little. He may find your youth and energy, bubbly-ness to be some of the best parts about you, but only to a certain level. I'm NOT saying to change who you are to be with him (DON'T do that please) but just learn to temper some of that immaturity around him if need be. Also if you know you lack experience in, or are ignorant of something that comes up (finances, kids, ex wives or whatever) then think before you go throwing your 2 cents in. Step back and try and understand it whether it's from asking him or another older person.

    Other than that just enjoy, and don't let him become your boss in the meantime. You are an adult, and if he wants to be with you he shouldn't treat you like you're his kid.

    Also I have seen this work before. A good friend of mine used to date our boss. She was mature for her age, and it worked for over a year.

    Good luck.
    “You gotta look good. Look good, play good, play good, pay good, pay good, live good, live good, you know eat good... Die good.” - Deion Sanders (FSU!!!)

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    I'm a 38 year old guy in a relationship with a 24 year old girl. It's going really, really well, easily the best relationship I've ever had. She is an extremely intelligent, confident and interesting girl, also as a nice bonus extremely hot, the type that most guys drool over. She has plenty of attractive, fun male friends of a similar age to her, but she hasn't had a great experience dating guys like that because although nice as friends, as dates she finds them immature, unimaginative, selfish and she doesn't feel they treat a woman properly. So she socialises with them when she feels like relaxing, and she spends time with me when she feels horny or wants to be taken out or, basically, made to feel like a woman.

    One thing I've noticed is the way she uses the word "fun". "Fun" to her means an evening of good conversation, deep eye contact, teasing, laughing, and flirtatious talk with a man she likes, maybe in a nice restaurant or upscale lounge or bar. That would be a far more "fun" evening for her than anything else.

    I think it's important not to think too much about the age difference. It's not a huge difference, certainly from a 38 year old guys's perspective any girl aged from 21 to 45 would be an absolutely OK age to date.

    I think the reason for this is that people slow down in their development after early twenties. I mean, the difference between 21 and 22 is quite significant (for many people it would mean moving from college to having a job, moving away from parents' house maybe getting your own place, being able to drink legally is no longer so exciting, etc). The difference between 37 and 38 is minimal. And as a 38-year-old, in my head I still think almost exactly the same way I did when I was 25, I like the same things, I wear many of the same clothes (quality lasts), my idea of a fun date would be pretty much the same. Main differences with me are, from experience I know better how to treat a girl properly, and I'm more confident in most situations life throws at you. And I'm very definitely better in bed than I was in my 20s, not through magic tricks or kama sutra style techniques, it's just a question of knowing better what I want, being more dominant in bed and also at the same time more relaxed about it.

    In our case, she started having relationships and sex when she was around 15, I started when I was 21, and we've probably had around the same number of proper relationships so emotionally/sexually I feel we are fairly well balanced.

    Obviously there are some issues due to the age difference, the main ones I would say are:
    * music, I don't know current/new bands or club hits without making a very conscious effort to find out about them, she doesn't know all the 80s/90s bands that I like
    * as a consequence, going out to clubs or dancing generally is an issue, as we dance totally different ways (even though we both like dancing, a lot): I find it very hard to dance to 2011 club music as something seems to have changed the last couple of years, the beat seems to change randomly mid-track now or there are off-beats or skips which really throws me: she thinks of the music that I would dance to as the type of thing they put on for the older people at a wedding!
    * travel, I've been to far more places in the world so I try not to remind her of that, but it makes it harder to find a place which neither of us has been to before - which is important, we want to experience new things together, not feel like I am the guide the whole time
    * friends, she finds some of my friends (especially ones who are 5 years older than me) to be middle-aged and uninteresting, I like her friends but feel they might be judging me so we don't tend to go out with them too often.

    The friends thing is probably the single biggest issue. Basically it means we are happiest by ourselves, or with just one or two good friends who are understanding of our relationship. So now, if a group of friends wants to go out, we would usually tend each to do our own thing that evening.

  8. #8
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    Headman - Yeah, everything you mentioned is why these types of relationships generally don't work in the long run. She is still discovering things that you already know. It's kind of like been there done that for you and you just look like an old man to her.

    So while she is an adult and she looks like an adult, she just won't have the depth of knowledge and life experience as you. And you won't have the same hope, wonder and optimism as she does because you have wisdom. So it's fun while it last (and I mean it's a lot of fun) but sometimes there is too much ground to cover to make it a viable long term situation.

    But every relationship and person is different and I've been wrong before -- once in 1999 it'll never happen again haha

    good luck bro

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    Great thread!

    Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk

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    Too bad OP doesn't comment again. I was curious how this one would work out, and how she saw our advice.
    “You gotta look good. Look good, play good, play good, pay good, pay good, live good, live good, you know eat good... Die good.” - Deion Sanders (FSU!!!)

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