Like Tree6Likes

Does he like me? Your advice appreciated

Discuss Does he like me? Your advice appreciated at the The 30+ Forum within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Dug this up to post an update and maybe get some feedback. So S and ...

FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 49
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Gender:
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Dug this up to post an update and maybe get some feedback. So S and I did not get happy married ever after. In fact, S started ignoring me after a while. It stung for about a week, but then I got over it. I met someone else within a couple months and dated him until now (we broke up about a month ago).

    S had been flirting but in a friendly way the whole time - nothing over-the-top until just a few days ago. During a party last week, he started introducing me to everyone as his girlfriend (kind of lame / cheesy of him, but OK, I am seeing this as an IOI) and teasing me about how I "pose" by the bar and that I am so "high maintainence." Everyone (our co-workers / friends) still thinks something is up with us. Party lasted for a while and then there was an after party - more flirting and teasing. I demanded that he get me water just the way I wanted and I pulled his collar to get him near me when I wanted. I demanded that he kiss my forehead but won't let him kiss me on the mouth. And he had no choice but to oblige. ;p Ahh...I love being so demanding / teasing! At the party, S's friend (J) told me that S really likes me and cares about me and that we should go out and talk things over. J said that S is a great guy and very serious / career-minded and a great catch. S turned to me and said "Yea, we never dated did we?" And I said "Nope, we never did." J said that we should talk about our feelings and I said to J that S never showed that much interest or seemed serious enough to ask me out on a proper date so I never bothered to pay attention and never developed feelings. J appeared shocked and said "You have no feelings?!" Me: "Nope." Of course the two of them teased me about being so old fashioned and stuff - but w/e - I am old fashioned and it works for me. Toward the end of the night, S helped me with my coat (which I thought was so sweet and told him so) and then obviously he wanted to do more physical stuff, but I just hugged him and left. He texted me when I got home and said we should go out over the weekend. I had plans so I said I am busy this weekend but can do later in the week or next weekend. He never responded to that.

    I think I really like S as a friend, but his lack of stepping up makes me lose interest. He also seems a bit immature... Right now I know he likes me, and I like him and his company, but I am not falling for him... I think he's been with easy girls (no offense to him or those girls) but I am definitely not so easy and as much as I'd like to see him step it up, I am not sure if he can or will...

    I guess it helps that I have a few other options....a couple guys who want to take me out - one of whom I actually like and got along with pretty well - the other is just sort of an option. Also, a couple other guys who seem interested but things have not progressed. I guess I really wished things with S had worked out - I think it's really nice to have someone whom I am so comfortable with because we've been friends for so long, but I just don't know if S will step up. And I don't know if J said all those things about S to me to help S get laid or whether he said because S actually really has feelings. Thoughts? Can I help S step up or is that all up to him?



  2. #22
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Gender:
    Age
    33
    Posts
    203
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by ToughCookieGirl View Post
    I had plans so I said I am busy this weekend but can do later in the week or next weekend. He never responded to that.
    Afraid this is not a good sign. You should definitely wait for him to make the next move, if you text, hint, etc you are going to lose value in large amounts...

    If he likes you then he WILL make it happen. My advice would be explore your other options, let S work it our for himself.

    P.S. If he texts you make sure you make him wait for your response!

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Gender:
    Age
    36
    Posts
    1,034
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    I think it sounds like things are going great- as far as you having your boundaries and tantalizing him If you're not falling for him, great! Its much easier to deal with stuff before that happens. I've generally found that turning down a guy won't deter him if you keep giving him good feelings and encouragement to do things the "proper" way. Keep yourself busy and happy and circle flirting

  4. #24
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender:
    Location
    Pretoria
    Age
    27
    Posts
    1,052
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 23 Times in 23 Posts
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    tough to say if the guy like you or not from you description. He reminds me of myself I get on with girls very easy even the ones that hard to get usually melt within 1-2 meet ups. Just out of my mentality if i dont get from a girl what i want within that 1-2 meetings than i just dont text her again , I lose interest really quickly as its easier for me to meet new girl every weekend then follow the one that being too hard. that from a guy point of view explanation about situation above.
    now from a person that had experiences like that:
    Yes you are probably right that he likes you but he didnt figure out why he likes about you.
    I know why he likes you...he likes you because you are being a challenge or simply being different. The way he acts can be explained in two ways he is afraid of rejection or thinking that you dont like him that much , or he simply has other options like you and being hard to get.
    But i would go with option two because you suggested alternative date and he ignored it meaning he has options for sure if he didnt reply.

    Solution: be a bit more compromising , men dont have to do all the work, girl should assist. I dont say you should text him nonestop, no dont do that. But next time let him kiss you on mouth and pull away and say "no that fast" . Watch his reaction if the guy just trying to get you into bed he will lose interest very quickly(this will mean he was just playing you) , if he will start following you after kiss in way like contacting you more often, make dates and etc then the guy likes you and want to date you.

    Its all simple players want to sleep with girls as soon as possible and normal guys try to be more specific and try to know you better before jump into the bed with you.

    Good luck
    My pick up method is very simple its called "FFF" which translates as FLIRT-FUCK-FORGET
    EVER TRIED-EVER FAILED- NO MATTER-TRY AGAIN-FAIL AGAIN-FAIL BETTER
    You have one life to live.Marx teaches us to blame society for our frailties, Freud teaches us to blame our parents, and astrology teaches us to blame the universe.but the only place to look for blame is if you didnt have the guts to bring out your full self, if you didnt act on your desires, if you didnt take advantage of what was in front of you and life the life that was your potential..

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Gender:
    Age
    41
    Posts
    228
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    I think that the guy likes you, but is acting like a guy that is afraid of losing the friendship, so he is content to sit in the friend zone with the sexual tension. The thrill is in the chase after all. Having said that, it does seem that he wants to see where things can go (his friend is trying to be a good wing man and talk him up). I don't think that the friend was just trying to get him laid. It sounds as if S has talked about you quite a bit to J, so J is trying to gather some intel on you, to see if you would be down with pursuing a relationship. (so that S doesn't blow the friendship pursuing someone that isn't interested).

    As to how you can get him to step up, just keep being flirtatious or making it overly obvious. I'll relate a similar situation:

    I met a girl in June, we dated for a few weeks and she broke it off. A month of NC, I text her, we talk, become great friends. We're very flirtatious and talk about everything (similar to you and S). We know way more about each other than we probably should. I still like her, a lot, but never really tried to push the envelope, because I figured that I would only get one shot at it. Two months go bye and we have two amazing "dates" back to back. So I texted her the rhetorical question, "so why aren't we dating again?", to which she replies, I'm not sure how to answer that? I quip something funny, she laughs and we move on. I was looking for something more concrete, but the fact that she didn't stop talking to me was good enough (status quo it is). <perhaps you are inadvertently doing this to S>

    That weekend, she was in town with her friend and she texted me at 11 to see what I was doing. A group of us meetup at a bar, close it down and head back to my house. Back at my house, she picked up my guitar and asked me, how do you play this thing. I took that as an IOI, so I do the cheesy, sit behind her, with my legs straddling her and put her hand on the strings. She sort of leaned back into me and I just took it from there. I started kissing her neck and she just melted into me. <you could try something similar, not overly obvious, but enough>

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Gender:
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    32
    Posts
    1,175
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    First of all, as someone whose tried dating a coworker, the worst thing you could do is date him and yet if you are too distant he might eventually stop being interested in a friendship. I tried going out with a colleague of mine with whom I sensed IOIs, we had one date and no follow-through, now we never speak anymore because of it. We went out for drinks one evening after work, had a good time, not great, got along ok, nothing happened nor did anyone try anything. Basically she never responded to my texts, never came to talk to me and didn't answer my calls, so I got tired pretty fast. I don't know if this was intentional on her part or why exactly she completely dismissed me so after she seemed at least interested enough to go out with me.

    There's beautiful girls where I work, and I can't say I'm not attracted to some but I know better now than to try to pick them up. I had a best-case of a bad situation scenario, in that I didn't make a fool of myself, nothing bad happened but nothing good happened. My advice is the best way to keep him as a friend is to make it clear to him that you want friendship, that you don't want him out of your life but that you want him in as a friend. You might like him a little, but there's just too many complications that could result from an workplace romance. I knew two ex-colleagues of mine in a small firm that worked togheter, got in a relationship and then broke up and still had to work togheter, the guy told me it was hell and I believe him. Think about your ex-boyfriend, would you like to see him everyday and be forced to be in the same place as him? Probably not.

    Talk to S, tell him you like him as a friend, it's the only way not to destroy the friendship. Tell him you just don't want to be involved in a workplace romance, he'll probably understand.
    Nachos, lemon heads, my dad's boat, you
    wont go down 'cause my dick can float!

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Gender:
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Thanks to everyone for your responses. I've decided to just not do anything and continue the way I have been - treating S as a friend, perhaps a bit flirty if the opportunity comes up and continuing to date the other guys. Mostly, I have major concerns - like us working together (although this is only an issue if things were to not work out and only for some time), his immature behavior in the past (lack of communication and cheapskateness) and the fact that he may be moving - he told me that he was interviewing in another state. I really want to ask him how it went and if he's heard anything but I've kept still - I just don't want to influence him in any way.

    I think S may have just wanted a date for Vday (so it's not just women who get all frazzled about it; I've seen all sorts of guys get their panties in a bunch over it) and given our flirty behavior, he may have thought that I'd drop the ball and let him in. But it's just that he's made little to no effort, and I really want someone who makes a greater effort.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Gender:
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    32
    Posts
    1,175
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    It's true. But just remember, don't shit where you eat, nobody likes a load of crap.
    Nachos, lemon heads, my dad's boat, you
    wont go down 'cause my dick can float!

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Gender:
    Location
    Outer Space
    Posts
    1,444
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 31 Times in 31 Posts
    Mentioned
    14 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Fun thread.

    Care to share what makes you think S is this big player that just thinks with his penis?

    From what I can see. You're both really into each other.
    I' m gonna be blunt, truly... You are high maintenance. You require him to always text first, show that he really cares about you, etc. You wonder why hasnt he txted.... what about you? Why havent u texted? You require him to do all the work, possibly throw hismelf at you and beg you to take him. In my books that's not caring about someone that's caring about yourself and your ego, in fact I think you're too used to ego bursts. You view the world from your own angle, without trying to empathize with someone elses.

    If you just had accepted yourself and your feelings more, everything could have been much easier. All you would have had to do was tell S straight that you might have feelings for him but you would want him to get you to a proper date. I am 200% sure he would have complied. But thats food for thought for the future. Try to empathize and be more genuine with people if you truly care about them.

    I have 1 last question for you... why would S have ever thought that you were into him?..
    "Psychology is an essential ingredient so that logic dominates emotions, and the human dominates the animal"

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Gender:
    Posts
    317
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by ToughCookieGirl View Post
    I really want someone who makes a greater effort.
    This is a misleading thought, because right now you want S to make a greater effort, not "someone" else.

    Make him make the effort. It's been done in history.

Similar Threads

  1. A little advice appreciated
    By Joho in forum Newbie Discussion Forum
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 06-03-2009, 04:10 PM
  2. Any Advice is Appreciated
    By aydude23 in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 02-14-2009, 08:39 AM
  3. Advice would be appreciated. PLEASE
    By Lin Liu in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-06-2008, 04:56 AM
  4. advice on this much appreciated
    By nakama in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 09-20-2007, 06:53 PM
  5. Any Advice Appreciated
    By Makaveli22 in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 12-16-2006, 04:26 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  • Forum Rules

Recommended


Daytime Dating



Magic Bullets



Beyond Words



Love Systems Routines Manual



The Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game



Interview Series



Love Systems Relationship Management



Love Systems Program Schedule





Facebook  Twitter