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Does he like me? Your advice appreciated

Discuss Does he like me? Your advice appreciated at the The 30+ Forum within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; James - Re: Effort - Today, I got a mass e-mail from work announcing a ...

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  1. #11
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    James - Re: Effort - Today, I got a mass e-mail from work announcing a presentation that he'll be giving with a partner. So, I texted him saying "Break a leg." That's effort. His response "Haha - it went well."

    UGHGHGHGHGHG - didn't even ask me about my vacation or upcoming interview or anything!

    Blue - After my sweet-I-care "Break a leg" text and his nonresponsive response, I am not texting him further!



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    good deal TCG - if he wants a bit of you then make him earn it, sounds like he was on low effort anyway and I think it's ok for both sides to have high standards.

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    ToughCookieGirl, I am going to tell you the truth...


    I am S.

    I love you and want to make babies with you.

    see you when you get back.


    xoxo


    P.S: sorry i didn't ask about your vacations

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    Thanks, Blue. I agree. S actually did text last night saying I missed out on a good party (I had totally forgotten about a work function as I am on "vacation" now).

    Was thinking last night that I got exactly what I wanted. I wanted someone whom I could be friends with first, take things slow, build up trust / passion, AND I had even mentioned that I don't want him to lay out his cards from the get-go. I wanted to wonder a little whether or not he liked me. I think in the past all the guys laid out their cards very quickly and I probably didn't appreciate it / them much. I think I knew (perhaps subconsciously) that I was playing it very safe and wanted to take a risk, but was not quite ready for it. Now I got exactly what I wanted. What I had not counted on was how unsteady I would feel during this process. So I guess I should be happy about that (taking a risk) and take it one day at a time.... I think I feel better that he texted me last night - at least let's me know that he's thinking of me.

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    I really thought girls never really thought about that stuff much, whether or not a guy thinks about / likes them. Because most women get chased a lot by guys. More attention than they like to handle. I'm not kidding here, I'm actually surprised!

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    Quote Originally Posted by jamesblond View Post
    I really though girls never really thought about that stuff much, whether or not a guy thinks about / likes them or not. Because most women get chased a lot by guys. More often than they like to handle. I'm not kidding here, I'm actually surprised!
    Yeah, but most of the guys who chase us are not attractive (LJBF zone, etc). When that one rare, attractive guy does come along, it's game on! I've had girl friends who spend HOURS trying to dissect their every interaction with a guy to figure out if he likes them or not. Or even more importantly, whether he likes them as a hook-up or something more. Girls are even more analytical about this than you guys are!

    Rogue

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheRogue View Post
    Yeah, but most of the guys who chase us are not attractive (LJBF zone, etc). When that one rare, attractive guy does come along, it's game on! I've had girl friends who spend HOURS trying to dissect their every interaction with a guy to figure out if he likes them or not. Or even more importantly, whether he likes them as a hook-up or something more. Girls are even more analytical about this than you guys are!

    Rogue
    You just come in the wrong places
    It's tempting to over analyze - I used to do that and sometimes I still do. But then you're basically thinking for someone else. Which is impossible. So I try to just leave it and let things happen. Don't always succeed, though. But being more or less indifferent about what happens really opens up space in my head!

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    Quote Originally Posted by jamesblond View Post
    I really thought girls never really thought about that stuff much, whether or not a guy thinks about / likes them. Because most women get chased a lot by guys. More attention than they like to handle. I'm not kidding here, I'm actually surprised!
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't stop laughing! Oh my goodness, blondie, you have no idea We can worry, stress, and analyze things to death. Most times it takes concious effort NOT to think

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    It's interesting to see the other side, huh?

    I am under the impression that women think / worry more about this kind of stuff than men. Of course, it also depends on the individual and circumstances.

    I failed to mention about my neighbor hitting on me constantly or a random guy from my past that popped up recently who's been asking me out. Why? Because I don't care about them. I care about S. We've been friends for almost 3 years and this recent flirtation / attraction took me by surprise and sent my hormones in overdrive. I agree with Queen below that it takes conscious effort (and even that fails sometimes) to NOT think of a guy we're really into.

    What I am finding a little amusing / ironic is the ladder theory (http://www.laddertheory.com/) applied to this situation. I am just shocked that S managed to jump the ladder. I am friends with my long-term ex (so he went from relationship ladder to friend ladder), but it's rare for a guy to jump the friend ladder to more-than-friend ladder (it's only happened once before and that was in high school - so more than 10 years ago). I guess I am avoiding the "R" word when it comes to S (for now). I guess I'd also like to think that this whole jumping of the ladder means S would take this more seriously, but I assume that won't be rational / wise?

    That said, I am happy to report that S and I have resumed texting. Mostly now he's just asking me about the interviews and sharing what's going on with his interviews. I just don't see where this'll go. We're both interviewing at different places... Maybe it's just meant to be a brief fling.

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    I love this thread.

    One of my closest friends who I dated now lives in Canada and we talk for hours and hours over skype and she is just like this. You girls are crazy...in a good way . I love women. I love women being women.

    And If I ask a girl out, I will pay. If she insists on contributing, I will still pay and just say she can get the next one. To me its not about buying her attention...but just to avoid the social awkwardness of 'who pays?' I want her to feel comfortable with me.
    "The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me."
    ó Ayn Rand

    "Life is the dancer and you are the dance"
    -Eckart Tolle

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