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I met this woman who is 20 years older than ...
Casual Relationship With Older Woman
I met this woman who is 20 years older than me on Facebook. (I am 20.) We messaged back and forth and I discovered that she lives at a city I visit regularly for a month every summer. I told her this and she said "We can hang out together and discover some new places! =)". Then after telling her that I am excited about her offer, she asks me when I am coming and wants me to tell some more about myself.
I haven't replied to her yet. I do not know if her message implies something more than hanging out but I would like to make known that what I want is more than just hanging out, basically sex. How can I test the waters without asking her directly? Should I do this on Facebook or wait for the moment until we hang out? Is it OK to assume that she wants sex too? What are your ideas? This will be a whole new experience for me so I would like to hear some advice.
I don't discuss sex on a date, esp. a first date.
Write back and follow up with something youand her talked about last time, a few things about yourself, and set a date when you and her are going to meet up. I would prob. try to meet up with her close to where she lives, or at her place and spend maybe 5 minutes showing you around, and then go out. I wouldn't escalate at that point, maybe in the car at some point during the day.
Ask her next time "have any ideas where you'd like to take me, or is it a surprise?" You want the entire night to be unexpected and open ended, and towards the end, she's bringing you back and dropping you off at your car, or she's going to ask you if you want to come up for a drink, or if you need to use the bathroom. Check her books, music, movies out if you wind up in the living room, pick something classic or recent. Gives you stuff to talk about. DO NOT say "my mom LOVES this CD". Or anything to do with your parents being close in age to her. She already knows that, the last thing you need to do is remind her.
There's no guarantee she's seducing you, but hopefully by the time you make it to her door, you've escalated kino to the point of getting her hot and bothered. Be reluctant to stay, if she offers... like, "it's getting late, I have some things to do in the morning", and either she'll hug you goodbye or tell you not to worry about it, she has a couch and an alarm clock.
If she takes you somewhere scenic, a nice place with a sunset, mention how romantic it is, and how breathtaking the view is, get caught up in the moment and just plant one on her. By then hopefully you've touched her a bit... whether it's a longer than normal hug, or got her to hold hands if it seemed like you're strolling around somewhere for a while. Even if it's a pinky lock.
She might want you to be safe if you're half awake because you and her were so tired she didn't want you driving off the road, she might like the idea of you being there and toying with the idea of seducing you when you least expect it,she might let you sleep, or change her mind and offer the bed up...with her in it.
But usually there's mutual interests that is a starting point for 2 people apart in age like that.
But you're not going to play a woman who's been through relationships and hookups. She's been there, done that. Keep it simple, light, fun.
Sex should be seen as the last destination of the night. Everything along the road to her bedroom is what makes for a memorable time together.
Originally Posted by attractedmale
Stop thinking TOO much about her reply - several reasons...first you have NO idea what is going on inside her head, second her meaning of hangout maybe totally different from yours and lastly you will build up too many expectations before meeting.
Originally Posted by attractedmale
Do not expect ANY woman to be direct - luckily she hasn't mentioned sex as that is almost a red-flag that she's a pricktease. Also be fully aware that she maybe just looking for a young trophy boyfriend. Older women have far more pressure to feel like they are still attractive. She may simply like the company of younger people.
Just get to meet her and take things from there - do NOT expect sex but if it happens I'm sure it will be a good thing
Should I be physical when we meet? Should I continue normal convo on Facebook or bring the topic to sex?
I'm pretty sure her intentions are the same as yours so I don't think it's necessary to come out and talk about sex. It's a turn off for women, even if her intentions are the same. She won't feel safe if a guy she met off the net starts talking about sex. Just continue as normal on Facebook, throw in some flirting just so she knows you're not just a friend, use your C&F. When you meet her start off with the casual touching on the arm, putting your hand above her butt but below her back (Hitch), holding eye contact, slowly glancing at her lips once in a while. She'll know you're game after that and then she'll decide if she wants to proceed with the "bow-ch-k-wow-wow".
Originally Posted by attractedmale
But dude, if you get a chance to nail her, do it. With her experience she's going to rock your world. Don't let the wrinkles and saggier tits turn you off, it's worth it, trust me.
Thank you guys for the advice. I messaged her asking if this is the first time she will be doing such a thing. She replies: "I have been talking to a guy on the web 4 years ago but he was acting fake so I never met him. Are you asking why I am meeting you? Well, you will have to discover it yourself boy!" She also adds that it will be fun.
I guess we both seem to be on the same track, right? My questions might sound inexperienced and that's correct. To be honest, it will be my first time if it happens!
Hey guys, I have an update. She asked me about my expectations and because I was never able to tell lies, I replied that I would like to meet her in person, have a conversation, have some drinks, travel some places and if we both have the same expectations and chemistry, we could take it to a further level with nsa. I also told her I am not looking for a long term thing. Here is her reply:
"Hi! In fact, I was very surprised at what you wrote. With asking your expectations, I entirely meant your expectations out of the holiday and how I can help you spend a good time. I have never looked at it that way until you told me so. I replied to your mails sincerely, thinking of you as a friend coming here for holiday. I don't think I gave the wrong impression. I rather like to talk about these things face to face instead of a biased opinion from e-mails. Actually, there is not much I can tell you about the experience things you mentioned. When you visit, I will help you spend a good time with all my effort.
I guess I answered very seriously :P Anyway, you come here and we can talk more... Because you left all the plan to me, a bad holiday awaits you! "
From her message, I can see that her intentions are purely friendly. However, I always beleive that actions speak louder than words. I have seen many members here saying that a woman wants to do it but does not want to initiate it herself to later blame some other thing other than her.
I take her words for granted but I also realize that she is leaving an open door by still welcoming me, knowing my intentions and expectations. Maybe she has never thought about it but I might have planted the seeds in her mind, making her think about it until she sees me and also after she meets me in person. I am still willing to give it a try.
I would like to take your opinions on this. Also some tips on how to keep the idea of sex alive in her mind when I meet her would be great since I am a little inexperienced on this.
In my opinion and experience, as said above, she is more experienced than you in this stuff, hell when she was "playing the game" you had to walk up and talk to women with your MOUTH. ;-)
She is no dummy, regardless of what she SAYS, she knows a 30yr old man coming from a long ways away to spend time with a woman is not looking for sparkling conversation. She is looking for FUN, and if you give her a fun evening she might give you a good lay. Women in the 40+ age group want an escape, they want to feel young and have fun, so if you give that to her and make her feel beautiful with lots of compliments and kino, she will eat it up and beg for more.
So just continue to be friendly and fun and go see her and see what happens.
If she wanted to blow you off, then she could have done it by you telling her you wanted NSA sex. But she didn't. That means if you run solid game, she will probably fuck you.
I agree with some of the previous posts. She's older, man, and knows exactly what she's doing. She's using the "those weren't my intentions" clause as a scape goat for the UNLIKELY event that she does not like you upon your arrival and then she can just LJBF you. At least that's what I would think. No 40 year old grown woman is going on a holiday vacation with a 20 something to "see some new sights". Just keep it in context. She invited YOU out remember, you're in control. If I were in you position and I wanted to win, I wouldn't be the least bit shy(full of energy) and I'd focus on having fun. Go with the flow, see things, try new foods, and she'll give off the vibe if she wants you physically. This way even if you crash and burn (hope not) you won't have any regrets becasue you had fun for yourself. I don't post much on the forums so I hope I didn't make myself sound dumb. Just stating what I've learned so far.
Originally Posted by attractedmale
You are not uniquely pained and who the hell are you to put me through the banality of watching this. Cause many better men have gone for clearly better reasons and I starkly must remind you that you have not even been trying. And that's the only thing remarkable about you stop me if I'm lying. El-P
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