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gerudobombshell · #1 09-28-2008, 06:17 PM

Hello everyone! (Right into it

This weekend I went to two parties, two nights in a row, same place, different people for the most part between the two nights, but same problem both.

I have the ability to hook many a (drunk) girl's attention; however, when they see someone they know,they say, "I just have to say 'hi'", or they may just say "" and run off to meet this friend. Now, I'm no psyche-specialist and I cannot read minds, but I do read body language, and I know these girls are fairly to at least a bit interested, but in high energy situations, I cannot keep them attracted, most commonly when they spy people they already know...

Are there any High-Energy routines that could keep a group entertained enough perhaps to at least consider staying, or is there a way I can get them to accept me to meet this person too? So many sets... ADHD is the only phrase to explain what these girls seem like!

Radiating · #2 09-28-2008, 07:36 PM

They're not attracted they're just acting as if they are to get social value. You need to call women out of their BS.

gerudobombshell · #3 09-28-2008, 08:01 PM

Yea, the thing is though, these girls will return after a while to talk to me. They will re approach me, and begin talking to me again, after said person is gone and they're very talkative. They will return and I will begin to set up qualifying themselves to me, but at that time they come back, I am just opening a new set... It's a strange little loop. I'm not sure if they are uninterested at this point?...

[BTW] Trying to get social value? Like... to others? Because I set it up to make it seem like they're gaming me... Is that what you ment? Thanks!..

Stewie_T · #4 09-29-2008, 01:16 AM

You can always neg them.

What Radiating's mening with value is that they want to look like the party girl who's talking to everybody (or perhaps everybody's talking with her).

Radiating · #5 09-29-2008, 03:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gerudobombshell

Yea, the thing is though, these girls will return after a while to talk to me. They will re approach me, and begin talking to me again, after said person is gone and they're very talkative. They will return and I will begin to set up qualifying themselves to me, but at that time they come back, I am just opening a new set... It's a strange little loop. I'm not sure if they are uninterested at this point?...

[BTW] Trying to get social value? Like... to others? Because I set it up to make it seem like they're gaming me... Is that what you ment? Thanks!..

they are being flirty but not committing to their attraction because there are no consequences and there are obvious benefits to flirting at parties. Like mentioned above among others like drama and to a lesser extent getting orbiters.

If you're having trouble isolating them because they leave before A2 is over, try merging her set with either a wing or another set of girls, that way there will be consequences to her flirting if she isn't congruent with it as she's doing it infront of people she can't control, especially girls.

that's not to say she's not interested but it's 40% fake from what you describe and when you call her out on it that turns into being 80% real (due to congruence and the attractiveness of your actions) and she'll cut the crap.

gerudobombshell · #6 09-29-2008, 08:41 AM

You are right!! I was thinking about another method, but that is alot better thank you guys!! Perfect, that was just the anser I was loking for. Thanks guys!

Radiating · #7 09-29-2008, 09:14 AM

yeah just be prepared to face reality because the fakeiness works both ways...

though i'm sure that doesn't apply to you, you seem like you have great game.

Green Hell · #8 09-29-2008, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Radiating

They're not attracted they're just acting as if they are to get social value. You need to call women out of their BS.

I'm calling major bs on this. Honestly, I get a sense of bitterness from this.

Drunk girls at parties... are probably attracted to 4-5 different girls at any given time. Drunk guys at parties... are probably attracted to 5-10 different girls at any given time there.

This is why qualification is important... it makes you the 1 guy out of those 4-5 guys at the party who likes her for some better reason than being hot... and it also makes you the most available for her out of those 4-5 guys. (This ISNT saying that you should be "available"... but it's more of the sense that a girl will be more willing to escalate with a guy who is attracted to her than a guy who "might" like her.)

Think of it in this sense. There are 6 hot girls at a party. You're attracted to all of them. One of them says you're cute. The other five you chat up for a while... but don't go beyond normal flirting and such. Who are you most likely to go after? Probably the one who is least likely to shoot you down. After all... for a girl to get shot down... it's a bigger blow to a girl's ego than it is a guy's.

Just because you aren't the only center of attention of her whole night... doesn't mean she's not attracted to you. If you're at a party... you don't need to stick with them the whole time. Believe it or not... people have friends and people they have to talk to. If their best friend walks in the room, and they don't say hi... it would be awkward.

A girl flirting with you... and going to another group after a minute or two does not = being blown out. Just dont get caught being the guy who is sitting there looking stupid after she walks away. Just talk to other people at the party instead.

When stuff like this happens, it doesnt matter. Just consider it an opportunity to talk to more people... and build more social proof. If you do that... you'll probably find that she'll come back to you at some point in the night later on and re-open.

Radiating · #9 09-30-2008, 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Green Hell

I'm calling major bs on this. Honestly, I get a sense of bitterness from this.

Drunk girls at parties... are probably attracted to 4-5 different girls at any given time. Drunk guys at parties... are probably attracted to 5-10 different girls at any given time there.

There's a HUGE difference between "attraction" and "slut-traction" and even being "fake".

Quote:

This is why qualification is important... it makes you the 1 guy out of those 4-5 guys at the party who likes her for some better reason than being hot... and it also makes you the most available for her out of those 4-5 guys. (This ISNT saying that you should be "available"... but it's more of the sense that a girl will be more willing to escalate with a guy who is attracted to her than a guy who "might" like her.)

women are cocky, it doesn't work like that.

Quote:

Think of it in this sense. There are 6 hot girls at a party. You're attracted to all of them. One of them says you're cute. The other five you chat up for a while... but don't go beyond normal flirting and such. Who are you most likely to go after?

none of them, i'm not a slut lol.

Quote:

Probably the one who is least likely to shoot you down. After all... for a girl to get shot down... it's a bigger blow to a girl's ego than it is a guy's.

i'm sure it's an ego thing, but it's much more important to socialize a girl your way like above than qualify her, even if you're supposed to. think about it.

Quote:

Just because you aren't the only center of attention of her whole night... doesn't mean she's not attracted to you. If you're at a party... you don't need to stick with them the whole time. Believe it or not... people have friends and people they have to talk to. If their best friend walks in the room, and they don't say hi... it would be awkward.

no it's MORE awkward if she breaks up a perfectly good "merged set" (you and her) to shoot some shit than it would be to simply not have the same old conversation again.

If she breaks things off with you she's socially perpetrating something and that starts a tree of drama.

that whole situation is useless to the value gained by saying hi.

seriously what you're saying is so backwards

Quote:

A girl flirting with you... and going to another group after a minute or two does not = being blown out. Just dont get caught being the guy who is sitting there looking stupid after she walks away. Just talk to other people at the party instead.

When stuff like this happens, it doesnt matter. Just consider it an opportunity to talk to more people... and build more social proof. If you do that... you'll probably find that she'll come back to you at some point in the night later on and re-open.

i'm sure the situation is irrelevant, but this guy is getting this often. People sometimes have short attention spans, OFTEN that's not the case though. espetially if you're not in control.

Green Hell · #10 09-30-2008, 01:16 PM

I'll agree to disagree.

It depends on the type of girl. I think you're mistaking girls who REALLY are just wanting guys to hit on them... and girls who are just drunk and ADD.

Quote:

f she breaks things off with you she's socially perpetrating something and that starts a tree of drama.

Or she's just talking to someone else.... Maybe i'm alone here, but I don't consider a conversation ending perpetrating a tree of "drama".

Quote:

women are cocky, it doesn't work like that.

Depends what girl you're talking about. Most girls are surface level cocky, but insecure deep down.

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none of them, i'm not a slut lol.

SO you're going to go to a party and not talk to any girl... because you're not a "slut".

Quote:

i'm sure the situation is irrelevant, but this guy is getting this often. People sometimes have short attention spans, OFTEN that's not the case though. espetially if you're not in control.

What i'm trying to say here... is more or less that this isn't a "personal" problem. This happens to anybody and everybody. This is just how young girls are when they party and they know lots of people around. Especially when you add alcohol. The way you fix this is you build compliance & social proof while not falling in to a trap of chasing the hot flirt. Just talk to them in a neutral manner while not trying to gain rapport. You don't try to "stop" girls from being adhd... and you don't call girls sluts because they're flirts. It's just how girls are. If you don't like it, thats fine, but none of us are above being the "cool guy" at the party.. and essentially, thats what these girls become when they're in this mode. Except... they're the "cool girl" who has all the guys after her.