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I have done a lot of self reflecting ...
Negative Beliefs about Social Fraternities
I have done a lot of self reflecting and looking at my actions and how they may restrict me from doing things that may help me to be successful.
A particular one I would like advice on is how I view social fraternities and what may be wrong with my views and how I should look at things differently to my advantage.
I come from a small university (less than 9,000 undergrads) and we are not known for our sports or our party scene which tends to be exclusive but is there. A lot of girls go to the bigger public university to party because they have a greek life and a big one at that.
We are all on foot at my school and the bus ride there is usually 30 min there which presents a logistical problem for me as well.
Now as a guy I feel very disadvantaged trying to party over there and hold a lot of resentment against the frat boys up at the public university.
They take all our girls (not all but a lot) and they are known to turn down guys like no other (even girls at those parties where they ask for the school ID and the girls dont go to that school).
Now I have friends in the frats there and if I pushed for it I can ask for some favors they owe me anyways and party there, but it's when I get into those frat parties I hit a few more negative beliefs.
There are always those girls that only go for frat guys. When "what frat are you in?" becomes a screening question girls use for guys things get difficult for me.
Also I view a frat as a bunch of dudes who work together to get each other laid and keep the outsiders (like me) out or keep outsiders from getting girls when they are in.
Also there is the logistical problem of where I pull girls too. I can't use their rooms (unless I am really tight with them) and screwing girls in the frat bathroom or the floor is pretty nasty.
I feel like there is so much going against me at that other college's party scene that I don't want to go over there.
I am a "frat boy" in a sense. I am part of a professional business fraternity at my school (the only one on campus) that is co ed and has more than 50 people.
That's cool because I get to have 10-15 different places to go instead of one frat house but I also do not have a party machine like a 3 story frat house that always attracts fine girls.
On the flip side I am roughly more than halfway done with taking over the party scene at my school and molding it into what I think would give me the best college experience.
However I find it hard to compete with the frats who have tons of money to throw at alcohol and they can offer girls free drinks.
At the least I would have to charge $5 at the door if I was providing alcohol to cover costs.
My school is a mostly BYOB party school.
I understand exclusivity and how it relates to attracting the best party guests and throwing the best party but how do I overcome my negative beliefs about social frats?
Are my beliefs plausible?
How do I get into the frat scene at the UW (being able to bring girls and make friends with the frat boys isn't enough to get invited to their parties in my experience)?
I think it is healthy for me to put that out there and get some feedback on that so I don't allow those beliefs to hold me back.
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