ULTIMATE ROUTINES ! / FOR WHATEVER PURPOSE (MUST READ)

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    ULTIMATE ROUTINES ! / FOR WHATEVER PURPOSE (MUST READ)

    What to say in comfort stage:

    "Wow, we used to be SO close. (cross your fingers) It's like we were hugging. But now we've fallen apart (uncross your fingers, like your holding up a 'peace' sign). Now I guess you just wanna hold hands."

    Short, sweet, and works like a charm.




    What to say when she starts acting up:

    "Wow, how does your boyfriend put up with you?" - You
    "Uh, I don't have a boyfriend." - Her
    "Well, that's probably for the best!" -



    What to say at the introduction:

    "So what's your name?" - You
    "Jessica." - Her
    'Wow! That's very unique. What is that like Turkish or something?" - You



    me: what is the color of the fridge?
    she: white
    me: what does a cow drinks?
    she: milk

    3 seconds pause

    she: ups, water (laughts)


    another one

    me: think of a 2-digit number between 1 and 50. both numbers are odd and cant be the same
    me: is it 37?





    What to say when she calls you out on something:

    "Well, I thought I was being cute and funny. But I guess I was just being cute."





    What to say if your in a big college town (works better if she is wearing her college gear):

    "Holy shit! You go to UGA?" -You
    "Yeah." -Her
    "What a coincidence, so do I!!!" -You



    What to say when she calls:

    "Hey, how are you?" - Her
    "I'm good, how are you?" - You
    "Good." - Her
    "Wait, your good? (pause) I bet I could make you SO bad!" - You





    What to say when she is nervous:

    "Hey, can you do me a favor?" - You
    "Um...sure." - Her
    "Can you smile? It looks good on you." - You







    What to say at the hook point:

    "Have you ever met someone that you just feel so comfortable around? You know, you really hit it off with them? - You
    "I totally know what you mean!" - Her
    "Yeah...I've never met a person like that." (smile) - You




    What to say when she tries to bring you down:

    "Why are you so happy?" - Her
    "I don't know, but it's a lot of fun. You should try it out some time!"- You








    "I have a boyfriend" - Her (in a playful way)
    "I can totally relate...I actually have two kids." - You

    She will more than likely call you out on it. But more importantly, she will be changing the subject back to you and probably realize that her being in a relationship is not that big of a deal.

    "I have a boyfriend"- Her (in a defensive way)
    "Wow, I'm sorry, you must have thought that I was hitting on you. I was actually just being nice..." - You

    This will make her feel guilty and she will more than likely apologize to you.

    "I have a boyfriend." - Her (in a bitchy way)
    "Great. Can you do me a favor? Tell him to go fuck himself." - You




    What to say at the kiss close:

    Preface: Sometimes it takes a greater dedication to take it to the next level. My only advice is to keep advancing, keep moving forward. But also read her body language as well. Timing is the most important element and Kasey should be performed only after kino-escalation.

    My friends and I refer to a kiss-close as "Kasey" (i.e. Kiss Close = KC= Kasey). So if you're wing is pushing you to kiss close, he would say something like, "Hey, did you see Kasey over there?" Ya get it?

    And now for the tease routine:

    "Hey, I got something for ya. Remind me to give it to you later." - You (plant the seed)
    "Sure."- Her

    Time passes.

    "Hey, so where's my present?" - Her
    "Okay, close your eyes and open your hand." - You

    After she complies, hold her by the hand and kiss her.

    "But that was only for you, so don't go around telling everybody I'm giving away free shit!" - You






    What to write on her wall (i.e. Facebook/Myspace):

    (Insert name here), your priorities suck! But I think you will be okay if you follow the steps I provided below:
    Step 1: Build up the courage to actually call me
    Step 2: Get in your car and start driving
    Step 3: Turn up the music and sing/dance/etc.
    Step 4: I'll take care of the rest... Smile

    -----

    It takes some compliance, so make sure you have good rapport before using it.






    What to say at the Kasey (kiss close):

    "What is the first thing you would say after you kissed me?" - You
    "Um, I don't know." - Her
    "Well, let's find out." - You





    What to say at the approach:

    "Hey, let me ask you a question. if a girl gets breast implants, does that make her a slut?" - You

    ----------
    A.
    "No." - Her
    "But what if she wants them only to get attention from guys?"-You

    ----------
    B.
    "Yes." - Her
    "But what if she wants them because it makes her feel more confident."

    ----------

    The idea is to go against whatever she says...Field tested, mother approved!







    My ex-girlfriend/one-itis told me this yesterday when i was talking to her on the phone...I told her that it was some pretty funny shit. The delivery will be much better if its from a female to male. So this one is for the few ladies on the forum...

    What to say when HE gives you a shit-test.

    "(Insert shit-test here)"- Him
    "Admit it...you like me!"- You
    "No I don't." - Him
    "You're like a kid in third grade. When you try to make fun of me, it just means you like me. I bet if we were little, you would throw rocks at me. And that just means that you LOVE me."- You

    ----------

    It was so good that I couldn't come up with any response. I just kept laughing with her.







    What to say as a disqualifier:

    (Note: Only use this when you cross the hook point.)

    "Admit it, you like me!"- Her
    "Yeah I like you...but I'm not IN like with you." - You






    My co-worker said this to me today. She said she made it up on the spot...I thought it was funny.

    What to say when you run out of other things to say:

    "Hey, do you wear glasses?"- You
    "No."- Her
    "Oh, that sucks, I guess you can't see how good looking I am."- You





    What to text your girlfriend when she is having a bad day:

    "You're silly, you're kind of weird, and you're a bit too cute at times...but I like you anyway "- You





    How to set a time-constraint on your phone call

    For example, if the time is 8:00, you say:

    "Hey, I got to let you go at 8:12"- You
    "Why 8:12?"- Her
    "Well, I got SO much shit to do at 8:13"- You





    What to say when she asks what you do for a living:

    "So what do you do?" - Her

    A. "I'm a traffic light repair man...It's pretty cool, actually. I drive around with a portable machine and I can change the colors on each light. So next time your late for work, give me a call and I'll hook you up!" -You

    B. "I pack parachutes for skydivers. You should come check it out...By the way, how much do you trust me?"-You

    C. "I'm in a rock band. As a matter of fact, we're looking for drummer and you look like you just might fit the part. I'll go ahead and put you on the list for auditions next week."-You

    These gets a lot of positive reactions because they can't tell whether or not you're joking.
    Another side note: I've noticed that skydiving is a good conversational piece. People always have a strong opinion on it.





    What to say to build rapport:

    "Did you know that the best compliment you can give to a woman is to simply repeat her name?" -You
    "Really?" -Her
    "Yeah...For instance, what's your sister's name?" -You
    "Kelly." -Her
    "So the next time you get off the phone with Kelly, tell her, 'I love you Kelly,' or 'Great talking to you Kelly.' Then notice the difference...And you can even test her by seeing if she says your name at the end of your next conversation." -You

    *For bonus points, repeat her name as you say goodbye.*


    "People care about their own name more than every other name in the world combined." - Dale Carnegie





    What to say to the bartender: (post hook-point)

    "You know, there is a paradox in becoming a bartender." - You
    "Oh really. And what is that?" - Her
    "You meet so many people, but you don't really meet anybody at all." - You
    "What do you mean?" - Her
    "Well, you can talk to a lot of people, but you can't ever get to know them; you are on that side and they are always on the other. Even if you liked the person, it would never work because you would always look at him as the guy from the bar." - You

    *Most bartenders will agree with you, but they will also try to counter that notion. So you can follow it up with something like...

    "Don't get me wrong here, I think you're a cool person, but I wouldn't even bother asking for your number." - You





    Another line for Kasey (kiss-close):

    "I bet you I could kiss you before you could kiss me." - You
    "No you can't!" - Her





    What to say to take her home:

    (Note: Say this when after the kiss close, and after the hook point...I will admit that it is a bit forward)

    "I'm having a lot of fun. I think we should get lunch tomorrow." - You
    "Yea, absolutely." - Her
    "Well, what time do you think we'll wake up?" (smile) - You

    (This is great because it makes the implication without blatantly stating your intentions. Even if she doesn't want to go home with you, it still gives you an out. For example, if she denies, you could respond with, "I meant what time am I picking you up?...Haha, you thought I was that easy?")







    What to say on her birthday:

    (Note: For this routine, you will need a box of matches.)

    "I bet you I can make you feel young again" (smile) -You
    "Um, okay." - Her

    (Light one of your matches and hold it close to her face.)

    "Make a wish and blow out the candle." -You

    (After she complies and blows out the match.)

    "And I already know what you wished for! Close your eyes and open your hand so I can give it to you." -You

    (Hold her hand and kiss her.)

    End of Routine.




    How to kiss close in the first two minutes:

    When you walk up to her, instead of hugging her, just peck her on the lips.
    Follow up with:

    "I thought I'd make the situation awkward now, rather than trying to make it awkward later." -You






    Post-date follow-up: What to text for a second date

    (Note: You don't ask the question, but you don't directly tell her either...)

    "I think I'm gonna wanna party again on Friday! Lucky you, haha"




    What to say to keep her interested:

    "Hey, help me finish this drink." - You (feeding her the drink)
    "No, no, haha." - Her

    Then just stare into her eyes with a strait face.

    "Come on, just put in your mouth." - You

    Use this one when you've already had some history with her.








    How to Demonstrate Higher Value:

    This is more of a technique, rather than a one-liner. I can't believe I haven't posted this up already! All you gotta do in conversation is...reverse the pronouns.

    Some examples:

    "Do you mind if I entertain you over a drink?" - You (before)
    "Do you mind entertaining me over a drink?" - You (after)

    "How bout I take you out for dinner sometime." - You (before)
    "How bout you take me out for dinner sometime." - You (after)

    Ah, the beauty of simple semantics!




    This is a good kiss close routine I use that I modified from somewhere I forget... I call it "ASK" (used for after escalation and isolation)

    A-Adventurous
    S-Spontaneous
    K-Kiss

    PUA: Would you say you are an Adventurous person?
    Of course she HAS to say yes.
    PUA: Thats awesome! Me too! But would you say you are a Spontaneous person?
    Again, unless she has low self-esteem, she will say yes.
    PUA: I'm pretty spontaneous myself! Now... would you say you're a good Kisser...?
    Again, the answer will be yes 99% of the time.
    PUA: Lets see... (kiss the girl) (fucking kiss her good too!)

    There's a lot going on her but the basic psychology is, once she has committed to being adventurous and spontaneous, it would be non-congruent for her to not kiss you. Works like a charm!

    (Its been brought to my attention that SwingCat is the originator of this routine. This is a modification, it is a little different, just wanted to give credit to the man.)





    What to text as a statement of interest:

    "You should try out to be my new partner-in-crime. Long line, but it might be worth the wait!"




    The "Paper, Rock, Scissors" Routine:

    "I bet you my next drink that I can beat you in paper/rock/scissors." - You
    "Alright." - Her

    If she throws paper:

    "I knew you were going to throw paper! It's in your personality. You just got your nails done and you want me to appreciate your manicure. Sorry, I don't do well with high maintenance girls." -You

    If she throws scissors:

    "The only reason you threw scissors is because it looks cool. Well, you don't have to try so hard to impress me!" -You

    If she throws rock:

    "Most girls throw rock because they have to feel emotionally superior and powerful. But I didn't think you were one of those kids." -You







    Master PUAs only: the 'she has a boyfriend but you wanna kiss her anyway' routine:

    *use only to test the waters, after the hook-point, and after she's already mentioned something about a boyfriend.

    "So, just out of curiosity, what do you consider 'cheating' in a relationship?" - You
    "Anything beyond the limits of a friendship [or something to that effect]" - Her
    "I only ask because I've noticed that a lot of women don't really have a fixed definition for what they call 'cheating.'" - You
    "What do you mean?" - Her
    "Well, for instance, do you consider kissing cheating?" - You
    "Yeah, that's probably cheating" - Her
    "I think I see where your coming from, but what if we were just really close friends?" - You





    What to say if she's older than you:

    "Um, I think I'm too old for you." - Her
    "You're right. In ten years from now, I'd be forced to leave you for a younger, sexier version of a girl that looks exactly like you." - You






    How to get her to buy you a drink:

    "Don't you know that men are supposed to buy women drinks?" - Her
    "Well, I would buy you a drink, but then when you fall in love with me, I wouldn't be sure whether it was actually for me, or because I spoiled you." - You

    (note: substitute 'fall in love' with 'fall in like' when appropriate)





    Apparently this one seems to be popular...so I'll add one more

    What to say when she tells you she has a boyfriend:

    "I have a boyfriend." - Her
    "What do you mean? I haven't asked you out yet." - You







    How to NOT get rejected...twice

    Assume the situation is that you've called her and she did not pick up the phone. Then you happen to run into her.

    "Hey buddy, thanks for picking up my phone call!" - You
    "Oh, yeah, sorry about that. I've been really busy lately." - Her
    "No big deal. I just gotta delete your number." - You
    "What? Why would you do that?" - Her
    "Honestly, I don't have a whole lot of storage space in my phone." - You
    "Haha, that's such bullshit!" - Her
    "Well, I don't want to waste the space. Why would I keep your number if I'm not gonna call it? - You
    "Why are you not going to call it?" - Her
    "We already went through that part, silly." - You

    Take your phone out, step beside her, and delete her number so she can see it.

    "Okay, seriously, let's hang out! I'm sorry. Now put my number back in your phone!" - Her



    Delivery is extremely important with this one. Smile, be funny and lighthearted about it.










    How to kino-escalate in the first thirty seconds:

    In order to build comfort, it is important to touch a girl quickly and in a non-offensive manner. Literally, you can do this from the moment you meet her.

    "Hey, I'm [insert your name here]" - You

    When she extends her hand, you do one of three things: (a) teach her a secret handshake; (b) play her in thumb war; or (c) continually shake her hand as you're holding the conversation (if she's cool, she'll keep shaking your hand).







    How to open by the bar:

    "What's your second favorite drink?" - You
    "Um, vodka and tonic. Why my second favorite?" - Her
    "I mean, I trust you and all, but not that much!" - You

    Then order whatever you like, even if it's not what she recommended.




    How to neg and isolate your target from the masses:

    "I can tell you're the high maintenance one out of the group." - You
    "Oh really? How do you figure?" - Her
    "Well, you got that mischievous look on your face." - You
    "Haha, very funny buddy." - Her

    Then sort of pull her aside from her friends and whisper to her:

    "No, but seriously, you got something right there." - You (touching the side of your face)
    "Really?" - Her
    "Nah, I'm just playing with you, haha. I knew you were high maintenance!" - You

    (note: can substitute "high maintenance" with "naughty")





    One-liner kiss close at the hook point:

    "Do you get lipsy when you get tipsy?" - You
    "What does that mean?" - Her
    "Let me show you!" - You

    Kiss her




    How to open a girl texting in a bar:

    "That probably won't work so well. I tried texting her earlier and I couldn't hear a word she was saying." - You


    (hint: Keep a serious face. A good way to do this is approach her from the side and look down at her phone as if you're genuinely concerned with what she's doing. In other words, you want her to make the inference that you're trying to be funny.)








    How to respond to a statement of interest or unprompted text message:

    "Hey you! I was just thinking about you..." - Her
    "You know, you're one of the very few girls that can make me smile at 10:33 am" - You
    "... everyone else makes me smile at 10:34" - You

    (Send two consecutive text messages, one right after the other. Obviously, you want to use whatever time she texts you at, not 10:33 am, unless coincidentally that is the time she texts you!)







    What do with a phone number after a number-close:

    Immediately after closing you dial the number. Then instruct her NOT to pick it up because you have to leave an important message. On the message, explain to her how much fun she is having and describe the situation. Then, put her on the phone and tell her to say something to herself. You could use a line like, "Say something! But don't mess this up because this message is really important and I hardly ever leave messages for people."

    The next day, as a follow up text message you send her:

    "Hey, I hope you saved that message for me. I wanna hear it!" - You

    You are already making the implication that you're going to see her again. It will also prompt her to listen to the message and think of you in the process.








    How to neg/open with your wing:

    "I like your dress." - You
    "That's it? You just like her dress? What about her?" - Your wing
    "Nope, just the dress." - You
    "You're so mean!" - Her
    "Let me ask you something. Why is it that women have such a hard time accepting compliments? What's wrong with me liking your dress?" - You



  2. #2
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    You're a boss dude. Thanks for posting, I'll have to try some of these and let you know my results!

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    Haha good stuff, I've gotta try that text one!

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    Really great stuff here, wish I had read a few of these around a month earlier.

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