hooked up 3 times, need help

Discuss hooked up 3 times, need help at the The 18-21 Forum within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; hooked up 3 times, need help Aight so the girl in question ive known her ...

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  1. #1
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    hooked up 3 times, need help

    Aight so the girl in question ive known her for about 4 weeks now, Ive fucked her twice and the third time we just made out. We text semi-regularly and get along really well when shes actually around. After all that happened there was a week where she was busy with graduation shit and couldnt really come out. Shes graduating from college and will be here the first half of the summer. She then went on a week long graduation trip and said she would text me when she got back but never did.
    I waited a few days to text her and she apologized and we made plans to hang out in a few days. So the day comes around and after texting her she sent me two long texts saying how she hadn't realized she had made plans to go dt with her friend and she still wanted to hang out sometime. I was pretty pissed off so I just texted her back "aight" and went on with my plans for the night.
    She's done shit like this before when shes drunk but she always apologizes the next day. Shes pretty responsive when I text her and usually sends back long texts. What do you guys make of it?



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    She just sounds disorganized and flakey...

    If you want to keep seeing this girl, I would get used to it. I dont think this is a personal thing, she is just a flake.

    You havent set your boundaries very well early on, and this seems like it is acceptable behaviour now.. It will be difficult to reframe your relationship and reset your boundaries.
    Game is like triage, save yourself and those who want to be saved, let the rest dissolve in their own mausoleums of hope.
    On May 7, 2011 by Shark

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    Quote Originally Posted by VUDO View Post
    She just sounds disorganized and flakey...

    If you want to keep seeing this girl, I would get used to it. I dont think this is a personal thing, she is just a flake.

    You havent set your boundaries very well early on, and this seems like it is acceptable behaviour now.. It will be difficult to reframe your relationship and reset your boundaries.
    How did I not set my boundaries very well? She called me for a ride from dt late one night when I was alrdy getting to bed and I just ignored it. The next day she apologized and said it was not ok to do that and we moved on. If something happens like this again how should I approach it?

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    If someone flakes on you repeatedly, you drop them. This is assuming that you value your time and don't like being disrespected repeatedly. If, however, you enjoy the feeling of having your plans disregarded, then by all means, stay with her.
    Hey, it's all just advice. You can go out there and do whatever the FUCK YOU WANNA DO! - Hodgetwins

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    Quote Originally Posted by d_downs View Post
    If someone flakes on you repeatedly, you drop them. This is assuming that you value your time and don't like being disrespected repeatedly. If, however, you enjoy the feeling of having your plans disregarded, then by all means, stay with her.
    Its a small college town.. 60% male student body.. and summer.. so theres really not thaaat many options this time of year.

    Regardless, I've also fucked another girl and made out with two others in the time I've been talking to this girl so its not like I havent been having a good time and trying with other girls.

    I really am considering inviting her out tonight or over to my place and confronting her about this while we hang out. Last time we texted was Saturday during the day and then Sunday night and the whole flake thing happened a week ago. Do you think its been long enough to hit her up again?

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    It depends what do you want out of this. In my opinion something like this isn't a big deal because you should be able to find other girls. If one flakes, fine. Your taking/hanging/fucking/sucking someone else.

    60% male's in that town? then find some more in that 40%. It shouldn't mean much to a PUA.

    "I don't chase, I replace".

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    There's nothing wrong with keeping her around as long as you're in it for the sexual pleasure and you've got other girls lined up. If you're with her because you want a LTR, then you should call her out or reconsider.
    Hey, it's all just advice. You can go out there and do whatever the FUCK YOU WANNA DO! - Hodgetwins

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    You didnt set boundaries well by allowing her to flake (she has done it multiple times) and you kept seeing her.

    That is fine is you are just in it for sex, and dont give a shit... But if you care about her, and you want to see her on a semi-regular basis, then you should have enforced that flaking like that is definitely not cool.

    I would keep her around for sexual pleasure, but wouldnt be thinking LTR. Flakey girls are a pain in the ass!
    Game is like triage, save yourself and those who want to be saved, let the rest dissolve in their own mausoleums of hope.
    On May 7, 2011 by Shark

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    I'm not gonna lie, there were some feeling involved the first few times we hung out. Its been 2.5 weeks since I've seen her and realistically, its probably not gonna work since shes moving 2.5 hours away for her job in mid july.

    If I go the route of just fucking her how should I approach it without sounding needy? Is it still ok to invite her over to watch a movie and hang out? Or should I only hit her up when theres fun shit goin on like a party or a decent size group of friends hanging out and drinking? Thanks for all the replies, I appreciate the advice.

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    If you genuinely dont care if she comes out or not, then you wont come accross as needy.

    Just dont bombard her with messages/calls. If he doesnt return your call within a day or two... Then dont bother initiating again, wait for her to come to you, or wait to see her out or something.

    You can ask her to hang out, come round and watch a movie or whatever... that will most likely lead to sex if she comes.
    Game is like triage, save yourself and those who want to be saved, let the rest dissolve in their own mausoleums of hope.
    On May 7, 2011 by Shark

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