Discuss FR: HELP!! I Always Fuck up after the Fuck Close!!!! at the The 18-21 Forum within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; FR: HELP!! I Always Fuck up after the Fuck Close!!!!
Apologies ahead of time, my ...
FR: HELP!! I Always Fuck up after the Fuck Close!!!!
Apologies ahead of time, my thoughts are all over the place right now....
So obviously I don't know what to do after sex. It seems like a very tenuous period of time where things could either get really awesome, and skyrocket. Or they could totally bomb.
So I had this HB9 I met a week ago. She was infatuated with me, not to mention incredibly horny. She lives an hr away, does nude modeling here in town, and she's incredibly cool. One of the hottest bodies, and greatest personality I've ever met
The thing is it's easy to play things smooth when a girl is really into you. You know exactly what to do all the time. So I was a total champ for a week, we had some incredible chemistry.
Then she came to town for a photoshoot and called me up drunk that night, asking me to come over. So naturally I go over and fuck her for three straight hrs till we both pass out.
Woke up, fucked again. Went and got breakfast, had some amazing conversation and kissed eachother goodbye.... I'm thinking total score
So I play it cool, send her a couple funny texts that day.
She went out with some friends that night and got wasted, I decided to give her some space.
The day after I text her again, and she's like a totally different person. Not into me at all like she was
She still jokes and talks to me like a friend, but not a guy she really really likes. I'm talking calling me sexy constantly, and sending me nude pics.
I'm just so frustrated right now!! I made it as intimate as I could, made her cum at least 3-4 times(Or that's what she said, it's hard for me to tell in the moment). I also made her really sore, and I was worried I went too rough but she insisted I didn't.
Now she's saying she wants to stay sober and distance herself from everything to focus on some career opportunities she's had come up.
And I'm stuck in 1-night stand, or FwB territory at best
I want something meaningful with a girl for once, not mindless sex!!!
The last girl I F-Closed that I really liked, I stayed at her house all day the next day... That fucked things up
This one I gave total space, with a few funny texts... That fucked things up
Dude, sometimes it's not YOU that's fucking up, it's them. How long ago did you sleep with her/ how long has it been since she said she wants to distance herself?
Here is how I see it, although I may have a bit of bias since I only have your side of things: Guy and girl meet, have great chemistry, have great sex, girl decides she doesn't want that anymore. It sounds like there's a problem with the girl, not you. The best thing you can do is just chill out and get her off your mind. Don't do the needy 'Can we talk?' bullshit, let her come to you. I wouldn't go NC, but limit yourself; don't chase. Give it time, she'll probably change her mind in a few days anyways.
I reread your post and noticed you met her a week ago. Easy come, easy go...
So I'm fucked? I just don't feel that kind of deep rapport with many girls... It sucks losing this one for a few good hours
No, you're not fucked.
Well, you are if you keep up that attitude. Relax and just let shit happen. If you're cool and non-reactive/non-needy, you'll see her again. If you act like a 14 year old schoolgirl and get emotional about it, you'll scare her off. I'm saying this from personal experience... I've chased amazing girls away by being needy, and I've had amazing girls that I was at one point infatuated with come running back to me later because I let them go.
Yeah... It's hard when you have that amazing connection with someone, you're spirits are soaring. You finally get her in the sack....
And then you feel it slipping through your fingers, and you want to do anything and everything to get it back right then!
I'm usually excellent at not being needy, and my confidence is high. Until I meet that amazing girl and her attitude starts to change towards me. My spirits go straight to the crapper.
I've met two other girls like that in the past year... And honestly it friking hurts having your emotions totally thrown out of wack
I want an incredible girl I can fuck on a regular basis... not just once then done!
I haven't been THAT needy with this one yet. Haven't even told her I really liked her. Just texted her waaaay too much when she obviously wasn't as into me
Do you know breakthrough Comfort?
If you don't put in the work, why do you think you deserve that?
Dude, I [I]know[I] it's hard. We've all been there. Just chill, give it a few days or a week, and start up some text banter. Nothing serious, no dates, just easy convo.
Sometimes when I'm in a situation like this, I browse through the forums and read some other guy's problems. When it's not YOUR situation, it's easy to see the right thing to do and give good advice, and then turn it around and apply that type of thinking to your own situation.
Thanks... I no there's no good complaining about it. I can get emotional as a chick sometimes, I swear
I feel like Owen Wilson in wedding crashers right now lol. Not quite to the point of locking myself in my apartment and reading suicide help books, but you get the idea.
Anyway I'm off to build some fucking testosterone
Fuck yeah. Go do something fun. Learn to sail, take a rock climbing class, go on a mini road trip with your buddies.
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