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I think I got rejected, ignored her for a while and now she's the one initiating....
I've done a mistake about two month ago.. I pursued her while she was losing interest. I didn't go too bad about it though. I pursued her for only one week from the first day I got a sign of disinterest from her side (she didn't pick up my call and never called me back).. 2 days later, I saw her at work and like a retard I gave her too much attention and even asked her to hangout, she said "Yes" but it never happened! What a dumb move.. anyway we all live and learn
So I decided to move on with my life and ignore her. After about 10 days she added me on Facebook and I accepted her friend request after a 5 days wait! 2 days later she texted me "Stranger how are you?" I replied back in 24 hours saying "Good been busy " then she went overseas for 10 days and after she came back she was working at the shop (we work in a cloth shop) and she thought that I was working on the same shift too, but I wasn't. So she texted me "Why aren't you working tonight slut?" I replied after 2 hours saying "I've got better things to do haha.. I am sure you miss working with me", she replied saying "youre a fag" and I replied back saying "it takes one to know one".
10 days later, I had to go to the shop when she was working to pick up a delivery; I walked in, she was at the front counter, I said "Hey X how are you?" and I kept walking down the isle without stopping or hesitating at all, she looked a bit surprised to see me and she was like "Heeeey" but I was long gone from the scene before we could have a convo and on my way out of the shop I said "Bye X" and walked out of the door instantly without stopping.. [made eye contact both times and I think I smiled too].
I really don't know what's going on between us?? but I know that my manger has scheduled me to work a shift with her in about two weeks from now.. I need advice about how am I meant to react/treat her, should I give her attention? ignore her? be nice and ask question like what she's been up to... etc.? I am planing to wait till she comes and speaks to me first.. I've never initiated since I decided to ignore her.
Before I stuffed up with this chick, I was getting very strong indicators of interest, we always use to muck around at work, she touched me a lot, she touched my ass more than once.. she told me she loves looking into my eyes.. we'd make eye contact and smile for 5-10 secs... etc.. At the start I thought of her as a relationship material, but now I just wanna bang her and then decide whether I'd like to keep her or not.. I am slipping out of the infatuation stage and staring to see her as just another girl.. Also I've been told by one of the girls at the shop that X looks like she likes me. And about 10 days ago a different girl (let's call her Y) told me that X was working and asked about me.. "How am I doing?.. etc." Girl Y is interested in me but I don't know if X knows that. (I am not interested in Y)..
X is about a 9.5 or a 10 on looks.. she broke up with her ex coz he cheated on her with two other girls during the time they were together, but I heard from someone that they've been seeing each other but it's not official (I assume this means casual sex/friends with benefits)..
As you've all already guessed I am the type that over analyses everything.. hate myself for that!
You already know what to do. Pay her little to no attention. Be disinterested. Make her work for your attention and affirmation.
You've done a good job of recovering from n00b behaviour so keep it up. Now that you realize she's just another girl, it should be easy to keep the right frame. Be fun, happy, playful, interesting, and neg her.
Hey, it's all just advice. You can go out there and do whatever the FUCK YOU WANNA DO! - Hodgetwins
Yeah I have a feeling that I've been going alright so far, I just don't know if I went overboard with ignoring her! I have some AFC friends that try to convince me to initiate with her.. And that she's definitely losing/lost interest coz of my behavior.. etc...
Sounds like you're doing everything right, just wait for that fish to bite and get in there. Also there's nothing wrong with over-analyzing things, just look where it got Tim Ferriss!
The fish have already bitten... GOSH... Start Negging.. Be playfyl and funny, don't act all wierd and careless. You have frozen her out alot, girls can only chase a limited ammount of time before they wonder whats wrong and needs answers. That's when she asked "Y" about you. You should be "surprised" (maybe not superhappy as she is) you could mimic her and overdo it to make fun of her. Just reading from what you told us does not complete the whole story. Do you guys text? do you chat or anything? Because it could also be that she wants to make up to you after being cold to you during your failing moments. You need to think outside the box. It takes a man to ignore and move on, I'll give you that. Now reinitiate! Go throw out some negs, build up the kino, if it was really long ago, touch her and say, look! your har is waay to long now, what happened to my favourite goof?! (anything). Don't ask her out alone yet. I normaly never ask girls out alone for the first date, it seems so obvious. Throw a party, or invite her to one. I think you can gain yourself a good girl here, sexual or friendship, depending on how you play your cards now. But I tell you again: The cards have been handed to you, time to play! Best of luck!
I used to see her about 2-3 times a week at work, for about 4 hours per shift. So there was no point of texting a lot since I'd be seeing her every 2-3 days. But we did text about once a week or so and it'd go very well with me always ending it first.. we don't chat on Facebook or anything like that since I am a lot better in attracting girls with face to face contact. (they say I have a sexy accent, nice eyes.... etc.. all this crap...).
Originally Posted by Saten
I am working with her a 4 hour shift in 2 days from now, so I don't think there would be point initiating with a text or something since I am seeing her anyway. I was wondering, if she said anything like "why was I ignoring her??... blah blah.. How should I react? I am guessing I should deny everything and be like "what are you talking about?" lol.
She had flaked on me twice before, first time she had a good excuse and I later knew from her mum that she was busy... etc. so I know the excuse is legit. The second time is what I've mentioned above in my first post:
So I don't think I'll ask her out again, she 's a very confident girl and she'll bring it up if she wants to.. coz she already got the point that I want to take her out!
Originally Posted by pitos_7
She visited the shop when I was working 3 days ago to pick up a delivery, she walked in, I was at the front counter.. she had her eyes in her phone and she ignored me and walked in straight inside (trying to play me at my own game, huh?) 1 min later I went to the store room to have my tea break and I saw her and I said "hi X how are you?" and she was like "heeey how are you?" and I stood in my place while she moved towards me to give me a kiss on the cheek.. (she might have thought I came to say hi to her) I walked off after that (eye contact and smiling all the time).. so we didn't have a convo or anything.. also she said bye to me before she leaves (no kiss), although I wasn't near the exit door and I think I was even busy speaking with a customer.
It's been 8 weeks since I decided to ignore her and she has already made 3 moves (initiated), with me shutting her down the 3 times, (Facebook friend add and 2 texts).. and I've seen her three times (always ignoring her).. but we have mutual friends at work, so we are kinda of up to date with what's happening in each other's life.. (she started uni, my car got broken into... etc... you know how people talk)
My only worry would be if she is just playing a game to get my attention and then shut me down again once she gets it? I know hot girls are suckers for attention and I haven't been giving any!!
Also just before I got rejected she was hassling me to meet her best friend, and this went really bad.. her friend was a bitch.. she cocblocked me hard and kept asking me questions like what car do you drive?.. etc... I tried to be cocky about it and said "a red Ferrari" but she was very sarcastic.. what a slut!! she's probably jealous from X. Next day I called her up she didn't pick up and never called back and then as I mentioned above that 2 days later I asked her out when I saw her at work and it never happened and things were going down hill and I decided to ignore her..
Thanks for the help guys and sorry for the long post.
For flakes, you should punnish softly. Try by texting something like; "so troublemaker, if we dont have that cup of coffee soon, I think I would have to start cheating on you."
Originally Posted by pitos_7
If she asks you why you have been ignoring her respond playfully. Dont fall into defensive mode. You clearly are in charge, and it indeed sounds like she is going to be verry responsive to what you say/do right now. Play it cool, be her awesome friend. And be the goodlooking you . I think you may have this in your pocket. Neither of you chase. You have known eaachother for long. If you think youre ready (after a while of talking, laughing and negging her).. Start kino escalating. Keep that smile up! (ps: dont look dumb tho, use the whole face! ^^) You're a goodlooking guy, you know what I mean! Best of luck!
(edit) read the second part after your self-quote. Bitches be crazeh xD, but dont fall for any shittest, if she asks you stupid questsions, provide DHV and refuse to answer sarcastic, retarded questions that she has nothing to do with. Just laugh and look at her wierdly (not being to rude, just marking your spot). It doesn't matter for shit if she looks like Angelina Jolie or Susan Boyle. Don't put up with her shit, your game, your rules. They do want attention indeed. It's not a bad thing tho, just use it against them. Like playing with the cat, push and pulls would do wonders here I believe. Read up on some!
Last edited by Saten; 03-14-2012 at 02:28 PM.
update.. spent four hours with her at work!
Alright so I worked with her.. everything went very well.. (I think!)
At the start of the shift, she was doing all the work to get my attention, she asked me "so, what's new?", "how's school?"... etc.. I was snobby and was giving her one word answers.. and after sometime she asked me again "what's new?" and I was like "not much" and after a bit more time.. she said "why are you boring today?" (She was playing/texting with her mobile while talking to me during all those boring conversations) What does that mean? I am guessing that's usually a sign of disinterest but I was busy doing work as well, so it's not like I was facing her/giving her my full attention..
After that I did a tiny bit of kino, by placing my hands on her lower back to move her out of my way (we were in a tiny corridor).. and then I started negging... I went to her and I was..
Me: there's is something different about you today..
Me: turn around yourself 360
her: *laughing* fuck off
(I got closer and turned her around myself) *Kino again*
and then I said "did you gain weight?"
Her: *laughing* and hitting me hard on my chest and I think she said something like "I hate you" or something like that..
Then out of the blue her friend walks in (the bitch that cockblocked me, I mentioned her in the last paragraph in my last post)...
Her: Just in time *Talking to her friend*
her friend: what's happening?
her: he just told me I am fat/I gained weight *laughing*
Me: you should appreciate my honesty
her friend: I don't know what honesty you are talking about.. *smiles*
Overall.. I have to say that her friend was a lot nicer to me this time than last time!
Later on, I bossed her around and made her sweep and mop the shop.. I was dominant in my orders.. and I bagged her cleaning skills a lot.. and she told me "you'll never get married!!" lol, and then I accidentally walked where she has mopped and left my shoes prints.. she PUNCHED me very hard (inflicted pain but I hid it) while laughing and was like "you walked were I mopped" I don't really know what's the point of a strong punch here..
I kept escalating with Kino... I kicked her arse (literally) when she was bending over picking up something (no reaction at all from her side), and towards the end of the shift I pulled her pony tail, her head moved backward instantly (submission) and her facial expression showed that she loved it.. (bigg smile)! so I did it two more times.. she loved it as well... and then she asked "why do you pull my hair?" but I think that was a rhetorical question coz then she moved on with the conversation to speak about something else without me answering or even attempting to answer her question..
walked her to her car (we both parked in the same area), gave her a kiss on the cheek and left.. and said see you on Monday.. she also made sound when she was giving me a kiss on the cheek "mwaah" with a really obvious "kiss sound", I guess that's some kind of flirting, she always does it to me..
After finishing cleaning she had a couple of veins popping on her foot.. so I negged her, I was like "look how much veins you have on your foot" I instantly felt that she felt insecure and she said "coz I workout" and she moved out of the scene straight away.. I also negged her couple of times about her height.. she felt insecure as well..
We made silent eye contact for 5-10secs with us both smiling and just gazing into each others eyes! and then she laughed and looked away into her phone screen to text/play with it and said "stop giving me that look"
And she said a lot of random phrases like "I am better than you in everything".. "you are lucky you are working with me", "how long does it take you to drive home?", "what are you doing tonight after work?" (<----she always asks me that).... etc.
What's the next step now? I am working with her in two days time, so I am ruling out the idea of initiating with texts.
My biggest dilemma is whether she's playing me or not, because I was getting the same positive signs before I got rejected the first time! and then bang.. *REJECTED* I was getting solid eye contact, lots of kino from her side, she even touched my ass at work... etc.
How long will a girl play you, if she's actually playing and not genuinely interested? I've known her for nearly 4 month now.. with ignoring her 2-2.5 month out of the 4 month.. and only spent proper time with her for the first time 3 days ago after the ignorance period ended.. (we were scheduled to work together).
Isn't over-analyzing your situation/interaction with a girl bad for you? I heard it's a recipe for stuffing up with her the next time you see her coz you've been over thinking everything when you are away from her.. by this I mean keep thinking and replaying in your mind how she touched you here and there and you keep convincing yourself that she's definitley into you.. etc. (can be wishful thinking sometimes)..
Originally Posted by lordothelog
you seem like a natural
how do you know when she is bagged? which is the trigger? There will be a moment in which one has to take a step and take initiative, how do you know when? and what would be the proper step?
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