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Critique how I flirt, oneitus prevention, What do i do next to further things along?

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  1. #1
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    Critique how I flirt, oneitus prevention, What do i do next to further things along?

    Hey all,
    New to the community! Glad there's a forum for this 18-21 range, as I'm in need of some critiquing and advice.

    To make a long story short, I took my first year of college completely online; NO GIRLS AROUND. I mainly did this because I had some social anxiety, but went to a councilor, got that cleared up for the most part and have been really (trying) to put myself out there.

    So far, I've talked to a few girls to get started, just the regular, hey or whats up, bla bla bla shit about homework, grades, etc... when I see them or when they come into class, and I'll usually arrive early and they'll sit around me, which makes me feel great. (also this is a community college, so no dorms )

    But Ive grown fond of one girl, and started flirting with her, shes kind of a nerd, so when class got boring once i made her play hangman, it spelled out "Nice hipster glasses dork" (she wears those black rimmed glasses.. y'know, hipster glasses.) I've also done a bit of Kino, like lightly pulling on her scarf and saying why are you dressing for winter when its 90 degrees out you dumbo, all with a good laugh from her, and she keeps coming back for more by sitting near me.(at least I think so!) whenever she asks a question in class i call her needy, annoying, gross etc... Is that "good" flirting? or could they just be being nice? What about compliments though, they're a strong component in flirting, how can i use them effectively? Compliment, or Neg? I think I speak for everyone here that no one wants to be slung into the friend zone for over-doing compliments.

    The problem is since my balls have been blue for so damn long, It's so easy to latch onto one girl and think oh god we're gonna get married have sex everyday and ride into the sunshine with shit eating grins, but obviously this is irrational. I fell for oneitus many times in high school, is the cure for one-itus just keeping yourself open and flirting with many girls at once?

    After all that, How can i progress further with these women? Should i just keep up on the teasing, kino and little games to keep her occupied? (need help on compliment use!)

    Is asking if they want to hang out sometime/asking for their phone number what I should be doing now? If I get denied, whats next?

    Let me know, I've been a lurker on this forum since High School and finally have the courage to get some real help and keep my life moving.

    Thanks to all of you in advance



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    So flirting is push/pull. You tease her and then you throw in a compliment. Don't tease too much because she'll think you're an asshole. The ratio of push to pull depends on the girl. So here's an example from yesterday between me and a girl in class.
    I've been teasing this girl about being a nerd since she takes a lot of notes. She made a sad face after I called her a nerd walking after class and I told her "don't worry you're a cute nerd though so it's ok to be seen in public with you".

    You were right about keeping your options open with girls. My non-game buddy always says "keep planting seeds". Seeds are obviously girls of interest here. Even if you found an awesome girl who you think feels mutual attraction for you, keep planting seeds! You never know things can go south for numerous reasons. If things do go south with that one girl and you have no other options not only are you not getting laid but you probably will end up feeling like shit about yourself.

    As far as escalating you just have to do it. It's the hardest part for a lot of guys because of that "what if things don't go smoothly" mentality. Confident guys don't think like that(at least as badly as others). To them the girl would love to give her number to him or join him for a date unless she has a bf or something. And ask any girl confidence is one of the most important things they look for in guys. Acting AFC is basically acting without confidence.
    So with you and this girl you're gonna have to try to escalate things so you see her outside of class. Teasing her and such in class is a good way to build attraction initially but at some point she will become bored and move on. On top of that you don't know if there's a guy in her other class flirting with her who ends up asking for her number first.
    So yea after class if you're schedules allow you should ask her to join you for a quick coffee or her number. The easiest way to get her number is to ask her to meet up outside of class to study or work on some class stuff regardless of whether you really need to. That way if you get rejected(highly unlikely) it won't be awkward.

    I was in the same boat as you a few days with this girl in my class. I was worried about things not going smoothly and I even made a thread on here about it. Well I convinced myself to ask her to join me for coffee after class. Well I found out yesterday during class that she has to run to work right after class. So I said fuck I have to wait a full week and try again. Well while we were talking after class she ended up asking me for my number so we can practice stuff from class together. Trust me there really isn't any need to meet outside of class to study for this class lol... I did get lucky here because I was more worried about asking her for her number then asking her for coffee after class(dunno why...).Anyways you're not always going to get lucky and get freebies like I did so don't count on it. The whole point of that story was just to show that she was just interested in me if not more than I was in her. And to think I was going to let a bunch of "what if" situations stop me from escalating. Follow you're gut don't think about the what ifs. The what ifs are from a lack of confidence like I said earlier. She's probably waiting eagerly for you to escalate.
    "Cynicism isn't wisdom"

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    Quote Originally Posted by UofA View Post
    So flirting is push/pull. You tease her and then you throw in a compliment. Don't tease too much because she'll think you're an asshole. The ratio of push to pull depends on the girl. So here's an example from yesterday between me and a girl in class.
    I've been teasing this girl about being a nerd since she takes a lot of notes. She made a sad face after I called her a nerd walking after class and I told her "don't worry you're a cute nerd though so it's ok to be seen in public with you".
    I like this. I could see myself saying that exact line. How did she respond to that line though? was it favorable? did she blush? etc...
    You were right about keeping your options open with girls. My non-game buddy always says "keep planting seeds". Seeds are obviously girls of interest here. Even if you found an awesome girl who you think feels mutual attraction for you, keep planting seeds! You never know things can go south for numerous reasons. If things do go south with that one girl and you have no other options not only are you not getting laid but you probably will end up feeling like shit about yourself.
    Yeah I NEED to keep doing this. Seriously. I find my brain thinks this girl is perfect and I don't need to talk to other girls but I need to! This class couldn't be more perfect either. It's discussion based, and the desks are real close together, I just gotta break through that first feeling of anxiety and start talking.. about anything. and be confident. I'm just not 100% sure of myself (of course) and find the best times to spark up a convo is right after class ends, and I try to time myself walking out of class so I can instantly start talking to one girl, and introduce myself... Do you do this as well?

    So with you and this girl you're gonna have to try to escalate things so you see her outside of class. Teasing her and such in class is a good way to build attraction initially but at some point she will become bored and move on. On top of that you don't know if there's a guy in her other class flirting with her who ends up asking for her number first.
    So yea after class if you're schedules allow you should ask her to join you for a quick coffee or her number. The easiest way to get her number is to ask her to meet up outside of class to study or work on some class stuff regardless of whether you really need to. That way if you get rejected(highly unlikely) it won't be awkward.
    The worst part about this is that she told me she works OVERNIGHTS at some care-giver place, comes to school then sleeps, I was like wow... you're dedicated. But something tells me this wont last for long as she didnt goto class today or yesterday. Which is odd, of course my dumb brain was "omg she must hate me, she totally transferred out of this class or is hanging out with some other dude right now.." ... Fuck my brain. The last thing she said to me was "bye have a great rest of your day!" yet my brain will think of that!

    I was in the same boat as you a few days with this girl in my class. I was worried about things not going smoothly and I even made a thread on here about it. Well I convinced myself to ask her to join me for coffee after class. Well I found out yesterday during class that she has to run to work right after class. So I said fuck I have to wait a full week and try again. Well while we were talking after class she ended up asking me for my number so we can practice stuff from class together. Trust me there really isn't any need to meet outside of class to study for this class lol... I did get lucky here because I was more worried about asking her for her number then asking her for coffee after class(dunno why...).Anyways you're not always going to get lucky and get freebies like I did so don't count on it. The whole point of that story was just to show that she was just interested in me if not more than I was in her. And to think I was going to let a bunch of "what if" situations stop me from escalating. Follow you're gut don't think about the what ifs. The what ifs are from a lack of confidence like I said earlier. She's probably waiting eagerly for you to escalate.
    Props man, getting a girl to ask you for your number is a great feeling!

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    Quote Originally Posted by CollegeScrub View Post
    I like this. I could see myself saying that exact line. How did she respond to that line though? was it favorable? did she blush? etc...
    Yea she said something like good I feel so cool or something like that. Then she had to go to work and asked for my number


    Quote Originally Posted by CollegeScrub View Post
    Yeah I NEED to keep doing this. Seriously. I find my brain thinks this girl is perfect and I don't need to talk to other girls but I need to! This class couldn't be more perfect either. It's discussion based, and the desks are real close together, I just gotta break through that first feeling of anxiety and start talking.. about anything. and be confident. I'm just not 100% sure of myself (of course) and find the best times to spark up a convo is right after class ends, and I try to time myself walking out of class so I can instantly start talking to one girl, and introduce myself... Do you do this as well?
    Yea kind of. I noticed the girl in my class used to be the first out the door in the past but she kind of times it so she leaves around when I do. To be honest I'm not the greatest at getting girls in class. There are potential girls everywhere in life not just class. You could meet a girl at the bookstore, party, concert, grocery store, bar etc... Just don't think you're limited to one area.


    Quote Originally Posted by CollegeScrub View Post
    The worst part about this is that she told me she works OVERNIGHTS at some care-giver place, comes to school then sleeps, I was like wow... you're dedicated. But something tells me this wont last for long as she didnt goto class today or yesterday. Which is odd, of course my dumb brain was "omg she must hate me, she totally transferred out of this class or is hanging out with some other dude right now.." ... Fuck my brain. The last thing she said to me was "bye have a great rest of your day!" yet my brain will think of that!



    Props man, getting a girl to ask you for your number is a great feeling!
    I mean maybe she dropped the class or got sick who knows. Things like this are things you can't control. I know you feel kinda shitty now and it's what I was referring to when I said you need other options so you don't feel like this.

    I did make a thread on inner game that might help you. My inner game advice
    "Cynicism isn't wisdom"

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