Discuss Girl I attempted gaming before, saw her today... at the The 18-21 Forum within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Girl I attempted gaming before, saw her today...
...just passing by her on the way ...
Girl I attempted gaming before, saw her today...
...just passing by her on the way to class. She didn't see me, and I barely saw her before I walked past her.
Several months ago she approached me after class and we talked, and we started texting and stuff, but then eventually I got too oneitus-y and needy and she seemed bored/turned off, so things fizzled.
Seeing her again though I still am really attracted to her. If I happen to run into her again, what should I say or do that will open up an opportunity to see if she'd be interested again?
Would it seem weird if I tried to strike up a conversation with her again? I'm not really too familiar with how gaming girls you've known in the past works. I'd love another opportunity if it arises, but she was acting really weird/ignoring/awkward to me the last time I saw her/talked to her last semester, so I dunno what would happen now.
Any advice is appreciated.
depends how badly things ended, and how LJBF'd you were, I forget the word but she now has a certain cognitive dissonance about you, so acting like a totally different guy will throw her 'cognitive dissonance' off and it'll be a bit weird to her, so it would be an adjustment(that's why she acts awkward towards you, because your relationship most likely went to an awkward place, which in turn made her create this built in idea of what you are like)
anyways im rambling here, there was obviously an interest at the beginning of the relationship, the ending is the key however, now that it's been a few months you could potentially begin talking to her, but do it in person, and escalate with kino(slowly at first to build comfort, then more and more until she is comfortable/not weirded out by it).
BUT i should reccomend, try not to put her on a pedestal, I hate when this happens, cause this almost always results in one-itis, some guys will build the women up in their head to the point where they get nervous and make far too many mistakes, as IMO im the best when I'm not FOCUSING on gaming the girl but actually trying to have fun, then it just naturally happens(if you have fun first, you will like pickup and essentially get better at it, but just thinking "i want this girl I want this girl" without thinking through a plan or actually enjoying it, will get you one-itis in the end.
but you have to make that conversation good, and become a leader, kino escalation would be the easiest way if you aren't very good with your words.
Yeah I know what you mean. I've done that so many times before (put the girl on a pedestal), and it always ruins me.
So... let's say I see her next week walking to class (we would likely be walking toward each other in the opposite direction), what do I do? Do I talk to her and expect her to stop or just say hi but keep walking away and do more the next time I see her or something? I don't really know XD I mean, what would I have to talk about with her? It seems like being direct would be bad since last time I was super direct and needy and that's what got me into trouble, but it seems like there's nothing casual I could chat with her about as I just happen to walk by her.
ahhh, see theres an issue in itself with your post right there, you're over thinking it.
I mean think of what a natural would do, do you think the night before he sits there going"damn what do i say when i walk up to her at first!" no, he naturally just figures it out on the spot, but don't think what he does is perfect, in fact he probably makes a few mistakes, I figured this out in my later high school days, the popular guys aren't perfect, they just do enough right so that they get the girls.
now me and you fall into the categories of guys that have to learn to become better with girls(I was personally always good at being friends/talking with very attractive girls, but i didn't understand the idea of creating attraction/seduction)
anyway, just take a deep breathe, don't over think it is what im saying, because honestly she wont make a big deal out of it, so you shouldn't either!.
as for a plan on what to say, you're gonna have to deal with the logistics that she may have to go to a class or wherever she's going, but I'd say say something that was consistent with your frame(in my case, i usually have a cocky-funny frame, so i'd say something cocky and funny"oh look at you, you look good today going for the whole coat and pants thing that's great" with a big joking smile on my face, hell that's not even that great(i just came up with it i've used it before), but it's good enough to open with the girl, get her laughing, then i would just transition into look i gotta go but text me soon.<---- all that is just my style, it usually works just as a reminder that im around if they have to get to class, then i move on to text game and later meetup at a party/date etc. where i can use more kino(unless she can stay, then i just have a normal conversation with light kino to build more rapport).
basically what im saying is you should find a style for the future man, use what you like and then begin to build around her with that. Needyness is actually easy to come over, just go up to her, say hi, catch up a bit(not too much, dont go into ljbf topics) then use GOOD text game to build rapport and have topics for when you see in the future.
Whenever people give example lines like the one you just gave me, I can never imagine myself actually saying that and being funny about it. Is that just cuz it seems out of my personality? I mean, the cocky-funny frame seems pretty common in the world of PU, isn't it basically advised? I've never really been that kind of person though. I'm more like... deeply-thinking/philosophical/funny kind of guy. But that doesn't seem as advantageous in the world of PU, because it doesn't seem as lively and on-the-spot if you know what I mean.
So, although I understand I'll have to try to not over-think it (story of my life haha), I can't even think of any good lines just to have as backup. Does it always have to be natural and work with your personality? Or do I have to kind of artificially lay personalities onto myself at times?
But so, because she basically turned me down last time, isn't me stopping to talk to her a DLV in itself? Or am I thinking of it all wrong?
ill answer you post backwards here, no essentially going up to her IMO would be more DHV than DLV(unless things ended really poorly but they didn't) a DLV would be texting her being like "oh i miss you" etc. etc.
but yea you should essentially do what works for you! it's like playing a sport, why would you play basketball if you aren't good at it! you can yes add on routines that aren't you there's nothing wrong with beefing up some opening material, but your core will always revert to being whats more your style, so if you LOVE telling stories and debating you will essentially end up trying to do that or lean towards that later on in the relationship(I personally love cracking jokes at random things along with the odd serious convo, so I might start off a little bit different, to match her energy I tend to end up in my style, but the key is to give the BEST version of you and your style to win her over).
but that's exactly why cocky-funny works because it's shows self-confidence and humor, two things women love, doesn't mean you have to do cocky-funny, maybe try doing more cube-style routines, more informational shock and awe stories that you can talk to her about, you can easily go into those conversations, but you have to create attraction before you can do so, she will become interested in those topics and want to get into those deep convos if she's attracted to you
(I mean lets say there's two girls you're messaging on fbook chat/msn/aim anything, and you try and push the same topic and it's an interesting one, one of the girls knows you so she'll talk to you about it and go on about, another girl you are aquaintances with might somewhat like the topic, but have no interest in you, so she probably wont say much or anything)<---- that's why im saying at least from what you described PURELY using that style won't work, because it's slow and unchallenging at first and you really need a hook to get the girl.
you should start reading some PU material(the game, magic bullets) it will get you into a good analytical mind-frame(it helped me realize ALOT of mistakes i was making)
regardless, soon you're going to pass by her, either you say hi(or whatever you say) or you just let her go, what's the harm in talking to her? maybe a rejection, maybe not, but it'll bring you one step closer to understanding what you need to do for yourself to get the girls you want.
(funny story, I actually saw her again at the mall - I was headed back to work from my break - I saw this cute blonde girl but I was kind of late so I talked myself out of talking to her, but as soon as I passed her I realized it was her haha. I'm pretty sure that once again she didn't even see me, but it's just weird I keep seeing her).
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